Uncommon Cold

Being in the grip of the currently popular unpopular cold, is common but the cold itself, if that's what it is, is not. Previous colds I have had the displeasure to encounter, have been inconvenient things that at the most, last two weeks but usually for only five days. They are wet affairs with a little coughing and much inconvenience, but tolerable. I am with this, in a grip like being in the teeth of  a pack of mad dogs cold. It shakes me and bites me and grips me with all of its might and I am powerless to rid myself of it. The beast has been with me over two weeks and plagues me at night with its choking, coughing spells until my ribs threaten to disintegrate. My head feels like an onion and the inside of my throat like the outside of a burr. My whole body is subject to the whims of its grip and can do little to argue against it, In short, I am helpless. I am told that it is likely a virus and that an anti-biotic the modern-day cure-all cannot help. I am, therefore, left to my own devices which amount to lemon drink. I ran out of lemons and am left to limes - and cough drops. The latter works and all the lemonade does is soothe my psyche. Bed is the answer but lying down causes coughing. I sit but that's the way horses sleep or do they stand? I am hoarse, but no horse unless that is the ultimate plan. On four legs would be of benefit the way I feel. My voice is a cross between crow, duck and rooster. I do not speak in any event because that encourages coughing . I quack. I quake and ache. I am stiff and sniff. I bumble and grumble. I am in a state of abject misery and wallow in it which is self-evident.