Dump Elder Care "HOMES"

 Huge amounts of money are spent for elder care "homes" that aren't homes. Today I read about a couple, married 73 years, who cannot be together due to elder care facilities not able to accommodate them. Has anyone come up with an off-the-wall-idea where there are no homes but the right kinds of personnel and fittings so that elders may live in their own  homes or ones with special management while they live in condo kinds of units instead of semi-hospitals or "homes". Most cost a fortune to run. If we had training facilities that would later employ these individuals to go to and attend homes with elders living in their own homes it might be happier to consider when planning elder care. Would the costs of running commercial "homes" and the personnel in them, not match the cost of such a new plan. Of course it would take years to make the change but getting a start on it, might alleviate our unemployment factor and also allow elders to be near their families. They could visit when they arranged it their way, not having to punch in numbers at the door to visit their loved ones. A personal care worker assigned to a corresponding number of elders to work for,  might be a more happy a situation on both sides, than what we have now that doesn't seem to fit everyone. I will be told that there are such things available but is it working well enough for all. What are the statistics and how can those planning elder care, find these figures?  For those who want an institution atmosphere, fine, but for those who don't fit happily into it, living in their own homes with appropriate sounds sensible. The costs might help pay the difference if we disbanded the large institutions and ramped up home care.  The case I heard was about a couple in home institutions  who each had unique health issues and needed medical assistance only occasionally. Living together and being taken out for assistance for a time would allow them their own beloved place to return to. The whole issue of elder care is essential now that the baby boomer population is entering this phase, We need a shift from the ancient method of being sent to a home over living at home. Elders fear having to go into these institutions where they have one tiny bare room and routines that are deadly in spite of the cartooned schedules no one dares question. One such place we surveyed for a man with limited funds and who worked hard all his life, was shown what he could afford. It was a room for four with one bathroom shared. He turned it down and died in a hospital after a health crisis. I have seen these not-so-nice places; they do, in fact, exist. Those alone in their elder years must find it a frightening thing to contemplate. They are subjected to routines that are mind numbing while they have keen and curious minds and individual needs. It's what they can afford. Until you actually have to face such a lifestyle change, as you and I shall one day, we simply ignore it until it happens. The ads you see with gorgeous rooms and so on, are for the rich only. Being old is being helpless and you do what you have to do. Most elders are, or become dependent upon others. We "others" have ideas to share on what kinds of affordable facilities and plans we will need to be happy, and what is important to us in our waning years. This whole issue needs to open up to learn what elders actually need and want for their aging futures. Ask elders, because this affects every living person. We all grow old.

Eating

 Eating food has become biblical in that  it is one of the most important parts of  our human history. I hark back to primitive times when finding a food source was the major goal of human creatures. Those who found the most food with the least trouble, were the ideal. Women and children did the food gathering and gardening, while the males were out chasing down beasts to kill and complete the menu.  Cooking  food in varying ways, as time went on, added yet another layer of its pleasurable qualities. Fuel needs and the storing and preserving of foods became part of  the pursuit of making our lives easier. The aim was to enjoy sustenance all year long. Ingenuity in food marketing over the centuries led us to our present methods of feeding an overpopulated world. In spite of the technology race that even enters kitchens, there continues to be hunger. Some happening in our very neighbourhoods. Food is important as a socializing more, too. Elaborate service and display, and the decoration of foods is status and also now, commercial entertainment. In our health quests, we learn what foods are most nutritious and how we should achieve that goal. And after all of the advice on the benefits of a well-rounded food plan, the goal for millions is how not to eat food. Some foolish nonsense came along through fashion sorts, pushing "beauty" as they saw it, as being dangerously skinny. The closer models looked to a wire clothes hanger, the better some joked. Fashionistas had fat remove surgically and even ribs removed to look thin. Oh dear. Thin is one of the most ridiculous aims of Man's misdirected  inventions.  Coming at us from every angle, are the ideas of "experts" who present the "best" ways to not feed our bodies: fasting programs, specific eating plans, regimented lists, abstinence of certain foods by substituting, complicated methods of preparing foods and the consumption of only one item of food, are among the silly examples. Diet advice is a money maker, and none of it works as it should. The reason is that is that it defies reason. Most of us, simply want to sit down and eat in the happy company of others and enjoy the matter of consuming food. We prefer, in our secret private lives, to love what we put into our mouths. In short, it's something that makes us feel good. Or should. My favorite restaurant that is packed all week, and has been for fifty years, is modest, has a lovely view outside, a friendly ownership and a clean, pleasant atmosphere. When you enter, you are greeted by the owner who is watching business to learn about those who use it. The plates are simple: the food isn't a chef's ego toy. A carrot looks like a carrot as do all the other vegetables that are pleasantly herbed and prepared. Everything on your plate is what it is, not a doodad, but something natural you want to eat. You don't see big trucks of pre-prepared produce in the back lane of this place. You see cooks in the kitchen, working as a team putting out plain and simply, what will make you feel content. And yes, it is authentic of a certain country, but in a fashion that dares intelligently flavour your plate.  A returned plate with items not eaten is noted.  In short, it is "your" restaurant. When you tip your servers, you do it because they've done the job they were hired for. No fancy uniforms, no snooty attitudes, no joking, no tip hyping, just simple, good service. If those in my company begin unfortunately  to talk at my table about  diets and losing weight, I promise myself, I will never sit with them again. Skinny is never pretty. It's not even human for that matter: biologically or historically. Obese is medical. Eating good food, and loving it, is joyful. 

The Art Of Mistake

 There's something compelling about being old. I mean very old and seeing the end of the trail not far off. If you're lucky enough, and it is just luck, to still have an active and curious brain, you see human follies and have the wisdom to keep them mostly to yourself. But it is impossible not to have some elderly philosophy leak out. One gem to pass on, is the art of loving mistakes. The most important thing you can do in life is make mistakes. Freedom to make your own mistakes and learn by fixing them, is seldom accepted by today's hovering parents. Parents don't ever seem to know exactly where the line is  when kids are ready to say "enough, I think I know what I am doing, let me make my own  mistakes but just be there to support me when I do, please". Parents, please don't even think, "I told you so". It's the worst way to lose your child's life friendship. And you can be your offspring's friend for life. It takes backing off and knowing when to. Having just lost my only child and adult son, I can see in the span of his lifetime, the mistakes I made. There weren't too many, because before dying, he told me that I was his best friend. Could be, that I allowed my young child the freedom to be responsible for his own mistakes. It wasn't easy. An example was when the Grade Eleven Algebra  teacher called me and wailed about his not doing the twenty algebra questions a day exercise she felt, in her ridiculous way, was "teaching" her students a "discipline". She didn't have the vision to show, not teach, her students, that mathematics is one of the wonders of Man's discoveries that should fascinate us, not have it ground into our heads as a "discipline". Discipline is a form of punishment. Math is a miraculous and beautiful tool found in nature and learned by Man.  In fact all schooling should be presented by teachers, not shoved into heads and given marks if students don't remember every word they were "taught". Marks are the worst invention ever perpetrated by something called Education. We have lost some of our best brains by turning them away with this marks silliness.  Every time a child makes a mistake, it's cause for them to correct and then receive a handshake by the teacher, for true learning.  Marks. How is that a system Education folk thought would work as a learning tool? It's a punishment/reward system, not teaching. When  young adults, go on in life, and do wrong things and make the mistakes like once they did while, on their own, learning how to walk upright, and gain from the fall, that's self education.  Parents should shut up more often and let their kids' mistakes happen. There are lethal mistakes that can happen sadly, but parents are needed even more, in their job. Parental arts don't seem to be very smart these days. Hovering helicopter parents who see their kids as an asset, an example of their own success, could cause mistakes to happen in their children by not allowing mistakes to happen. Nor do many modern parents have the guts to say one word, "NO". You don't need nagging, or a stick or a lock, but you can express yourself clearly in one short term. NO is powerful.  Kids need their parents to love them and most of the time, hearing a sincere NO is enough. The rest is up to the forming adult to deal with their own issues and if their mistakes are too huge, all a parent can do is to be there to love and support and stand up for their child. If you turn your back, or scold, you are the mistake.

Books: Audio/Reading

 Listening to an audio book is not reading a book. Telling someone that you "read" a book when you listened to an audio book is simply not true. Yes, you have enjoyed the book and may speak about it and even bring its contents into a book club conversation, but you have not read the book. You have heard the words that someone else read from the book. There is nothing wrong with audio books and long may they live. Our history as humans on earth, are all about story telling. It's part of  our lives. We begin at a very early age, hearing fairy tales and legends, family stories and tales of how we began on earth and where we are going or might be heading, in the future.  These tales of imagination or facts, make us what we all are in part.  In order to keep a more accurate record of events and stories, early peoples wrote them  on cave walls, carved them into stone and clay, inked them onto leather and paper pages that eventually were printed when machines came along for that work.  The latter histories and tales became books that were read and stored and honored. And from books of various kinds, tales were interpreted and told  so that those who had no books of any kind, would gain the knowledge and entertainment that books offered. Even better, from books, further stories were made and these were recorded in all kinds of ways to be kept  and  absorbed for pleasure reading, telling and learning. Both oral, graphic now and written books  are powerful methods of using our languages. Language and its appreciation, is the key to what reading is all about. While both seeing pictures, listening to literature and reading it, have the same result, they are not exactly the same thing. Graphics, such as picture and "comic" book styles are the beginnings of reading for the young who need to train their eyes before the later learning in the reading process. You may love hearing your audio books because they are easier to absorb while you are doing other things. Audio books save time energy and even space in some cases. Why audio books have become so popular is that those who can't easily read or don't want to spend time reading books, can now do so very easily while driving their cars or doing house or other work or being involved in all sorts of tasks that don't require complete attention. Reading, on the other hand is a complex physical and mental task which concerns seeing the symbols of language and through one's own eyes, or fingers if you read by touch, what those symbols are saying. It is a brain activity that requires your eyes de-coding language that you understand. The audio book is listening to someone else reading and doing the de-coding of the words they see and say to you. For those who find reading difficult, it is a miraculous way to hear and love  literature and be able to experience it with such ease. In fact it is a great advantage to everyone who loves books and learning. Writers have an expanded market and all readers, whether they are listeners of books or readers of them,  have broader opportunities to enjoy new ideas together.  Audio books, as all books, are win win win. 

A Fit Over Fitted Sheets

I don't like fitted sheets. Likely, no one else would be on my side because some of them regard the fitted sheet as the best invention ever. Why I don't like them has a bit to do with how the flat sheet looks on a clothes line, not that humans of the city kind, know what that is, but it you have lived in a place with one, a clothes line, you understand. After laundering you hang your sheets on the line with the sun shining down on them and the breeze wafting them about. It's a vision that only launderers appreciate and revere. It's not only a visual treat to see the sheets being pushed about by the wind, but when you bring the sheets in off the line, there is the heavenly scent of freshness. It's incomparable. I won't mention that, rarely, the wind flips the sheets over to cause minor mayhem in having to flip them back to draw in the clothes line. When I lived sea side, my laundry line end was high on a cedar tree trunk, therefore to untangle sheets far above, meant the use of the long orchard pruning wand and much verbal abuse. But whether the sheets were fitted or not, wouldn't have made a difference. Another thing I dislike about fitted sheet variety, is that very often things from the washer and dryer have a tendency to hide in the corner pockets of fitted sheets. Try as you might, to avoid this situation, it is  undeniable apparently. There have been occasions on making up the bed, that I  have encountered a missing sock or towel,  a lump that requires unmaking the bed to remove it. But that is rather minor problem. What annoys me is the motivation, in part, of the inventor, for reducing the fabric used in the making of the fitted variety of sheet.  A sheet by its nature, should hang well off  all  sides of the bed before tucking. The person who invented the fitted sheet cut off all that lovely excess, chopped out the corners and sewed on some elastic material to the edges. This often gives up its stretch and you are left with limp corners. The fitted sheet cost more, because of its "useful" features. I am not in favour of this current bent of sizing items down while forgetting to remind the customer that you are actually paying either the same or more,  for getting less. One of the most unpleasant things about the fitted sheet, is that it must be fitted. Your arthritic fingers know of what I speak. In the free days of flat sheets you could fling the huge expanse of cotton in just the right way, so that adept persons doing it, could throw regular all-round lengths from top to bottom to sides. It was a talent. And then, those who had studied bed  making by their ambitious mothers, could show off their further knowledge by demonstrating "hospital corners". The tighter they made the sheet stretch evenly in making these folds and tucks, the more professional the job looked. In the army, for example, the sergeant could bounce a quarter on the middle of the bottom sheet proving your prowess. Another reason I don't favour the fitted sheet, is that the bottom sheet wears out invariably, first. It gets the wear and tear. A top sheet of a set, remains rather pristine and then must welcome a new bottom partner when this happens. At the U, for your dorm room, on the first day, you were given two flat sheets. For the next bed change, there was but one flat sheet. I told the house mother, that, sorry, I did  not receive my second sheet. The sheet woman at the U, looked at me as though I were an idiot. "You use the bottom sheet, on top", she snorted, and turned about before I could get out my meek "Oh". Maybe that's why I don't like fitted sheets, a form of PTSD perhaps?  

Who Dunnit?

 When I turn on the radio news or podcasts or whatever cute new terms are used for what some journalistic formats do to entertain and inform us, I hear little but blaming. It's rampant blame aimed at governments, institutions, businesses and so forth. Few of the blamers, appear to see that, clearly, they or their acts or lack of them, caused the situation over which they grieve.  Most of the time, they seek monetary retribution and sue to get it. Few are successful. We all see this happening daily, and one would think that journalists would, too, but they don't. They are journalists, and will continue to milk a situation far beyond reason. Often times, boredom forces listeners and readers to segue off. It's what media does to make its living. Today, however, too many of this cut, are going beyond what their profession calls for. The longer their story makes the "page" the longer they will find any way to keep it there. But we who listen to, or read the news stories, perhaps, as you, are becoming adept at simply switching off what we're bored with. Click and it's gone. Logic and reason come first, when I peruse text or listen to a broadcaster spouting off a story most of not written by themselves but an intern or fellow.  Often times, the interview is largely controlled by the interviewer, not the interviewee. The interviewer sets in all the information and hypes it, while the person on the other side of the mike, nods or speaks a yes or no.  Now,  it's true that we all have natural human sympathy for  persons suffering difficult problems, but perhaps, as you, I want them to see that they, in fact, are part of what they complain  about. Somewhere along the line, they made a decision or choice, that caused, in part or whole, the harmful outcome. Why don't we hear that side?  One of the recent examples of this is the idea that if a certain label is posted on an item, it will save lives. How many of us read an entire label and adhere to its advice? We take what we want over what we should. It's being human and making choices. In this case about the label, reason and logic, for applying the label, we are told will save one's life. The theory is not true, scientifically. The theorist claims it is, but doesn't appear to have any definitive authority in such claim. In an attempt to send a comment to this individual reminding him of  his error he tried to argue back by annihilating  his own case. In short, I was right and his logistical reasons worked wholly against his own ideas. I won. I could almost hear the judge banging down the gavel. Case closed. Unfortunately, this theorist, didn't hear that sound and won't, but will continue ranting on the dangers of this certain item and that putting a warning label on the very popular product, will stop people from using it, thus it will save lives. Absolutely untrue. His theory is that if A does B, then B is A. Or, if an orange is a fruit, then an apple, also a fruit, is an orange. That sort of thing. The man who presents this theory, is dead wrong in terms of actual science, but he refuses to accept the fact due to his passions. I congratulate his motivation because it's very boldness, does hold one's attention and challenges thought. But sadly,  it's just another theory and a weak one to boot. But he is entitled to the right of free speech. Click.

Typewriter Back

 When I went to live with an aunt just after graduating high school, I was a penniless student. It was a time when the classiest piece of educational electronics to be found, was a manual typewriter. Aunt Margaret used a typewriter as part of her comptometer job (look that one up) and she had an old portable.While on a student summer break, I decided to learn how to type. There was a manual that I followed and hammered away until I became proficient enough. No speed typing for me. In those days, there was no educational help for kids. If you needed money, you worked for it and in my socio-economic state, I didn't even think of asking my parents. They paid my board and that was it. I worked after school in a sign painting shop. The owner did minimum wage for students at about a dollar an hour and that made buying clothes or shoes a luxury, long term saving program. There were no credit cards. Stress didn't work, it just took up time needed for other things. I learned to type and loved being able to bash off letters and essays for school. What it forced one to do, was spell without errors. The dictionary didn't leave the typewriter's side. Your writing had to be perfect and if you made a mistake you either whited it out or tried to erase it. A mess occurred. You didn't make mistakes. I had no one to whine at for sympathy. In spite of all that, our youthful days were happy, free and uncluttered.  If you erred you lived with it. Today, at my grand age, I decided, even with a computer and a bunch of other electronic wonders, to get back to literary realities and write, as I call it, "clean". I found a manual typewriter. My favorite author, Nelson DeMille, a best seller, uses pen on paper. He's a man who earns his money because he's excellent at fiction and adventure. He does stories that entertain. To me, that's the key. It's not about whining and wailing to fix whatever, which, in books, seems to be the trend these days. He writes with crusty humour and skill. He inspires me. My new, old, but working, typewriter will need spools of messy ink to use in the machine and perhaps it'll be noisy, but it's real. I won't be able to depend on instant help such as spell check and grammatical hint, page settings or instant research. It will be discipline all down the line. Most writers if you look it up, have teams who do their research and if they are popular, no matter how silly their tales are, they get the stuff printed based on their names alone.  AI coming up will be the final step to putting our human brain cells into hibernation. Students, some,  already pay to cheat and let someone else do their essays and papers. They can go online and buy them while they run down to the nearest gym or student pub for fun. Or maybe go shopping for the latest coloured sneakers. Mom and Dad take care of the bills. A manual typewriter, are you kidding? Nope. It can be a writer's discipline as is using mere  pen and paper. You are forced to use skills that might currently be asleep, ones you forgot you had. Your creativity has to awaken, and focus becomes essential. Writing, be it business or otherwise, can't be faked because you and the body you are in, need to wake up and go to work. Not your computer or phone. You can't wing creativity and you certainly can't buy it when you're out in the real world with real people who can spot a fake a mile off. A manual typewriter forces the mind to get back to work and works your talent and energy with every punch of a key. Dare to try it.

Who Knew

These are the times when we humans are attempting to turn back the clock to correct history and make everyone and everything happy. We think. But do we know, time being what it is? Can we get the forests back the way they used to be? Can we let the native peoples of every land have back the land that they originally lived on? Can we eliminate the memories of the  bad folks who did what they thought was good but turned out to be bad, by pushing over statues or ripping down buildings or smashing memorials? Can we erase in currently revered books, words that were written before the era of political "correctness"came along? Can we say that what people did then, over what they do now, is not history and ought to be scrubbed out to what is considered "clean" history? Is that indeed, "history"?  And are "these times" so smart and wise that what we do now won't be considered in the far future, if we ever get there, acceptable? Will those then attempt to change "history" yet again?  To me, it's a dilemma remotely to be considered. Are those on this globe who thrive and lead and are very powerful, those who have what counts most on this planet, money, and have the power to push all others about in the directions they believe are "right", actually right? As someone who speaks from the human perspective of an elder who is getting close to a century of seeing and hearing and sometimes experiencing all this thinking, I, an oldster, think about these matters. At an age where you sense personally, that few humans actually realize how very little time they have to live their lives, how the vast majority of us will never be remembered for very long, I think a couple of generations before being completely forgotten, you begin to think like Peggy Lee sings "Is that all there is? or Frank Sinatra, not that anyone but those of my age, remember these names, sang, "It was a very good year" and then comfort us all with "I did it my way". The younger humans who don't and shouldn't look at their short decades lying ahead, and how very little all of their efforts to become famous or rich or meaningful in some way, are quite impossible to achieve, time being what it is but they keep on trying anyway, because that's what the human race does, and has done ever since the beginning of time and the first peoples on earth? We invented things such as  spiritual icons to make ourselves hopeful for and of our short futures. The ultimate triumph of humankind, however, is what we do for others. That's what keeps our world a place fit for human "consumption". And we are consumers certainly. We have reached just about the limit of consuming, thus the new movement to something called "minimalism". Perhaps unknowingly and secretly that movement is what we creatures crawling about on the surface of earth, tell ourselves, will be our last chance. There isn't anywhere else we can reasonably go but to another planet. Who knew?  

Floor Passion

There is a certain obsession I have noted the past few months. It happened when my new neighbour overhead moved in. I am well aware that these days when floor exposure is so rampant, it's almost indecent. It seems that the less you have on your floor, the more fashionably decor-wise you are. Magazines that house-conscious folk are addicted to, show huge spaces empty of anything comfortable other than the odd piece of entone leather or steel. The refection from the light in the windows, is dazzling as it gleams off the hardwood or simulations of that kind of wood.  Apparently, both kinds of flooring will last far longer than most of us live, and requires very little scrubbing like was done in the old days of linoleum. If you remember linoleum, you just dated yourself. My memories of the stuff is Saturdays when my sister and I did get down on our hands and knees in the name of family chores, and deal with  the huge kitchen floor that required it. My Mom and Dad had parties in the kitchen that held a stove and table. The rest fit into the pantry room.  Remember those? After the scrubbing, there was the modern, in those days, liquid wax, that was spread on the flooring and not to be touched until it dried an hour later. My sister and I very carefully applied the liquid wax to the kitchen floor, making sure we worked our way backwardly to the hallway where our weekly movie and popcorn allowance sat waiting. Chores accomplished, we headed for the matinee and one of Doris Day's latest films. Then in the decades that came along, new flooring that is almost indestructible was invented and all it takes now, is a swipe with a damp cloth to be cleaned. No wax intended. There are some women who have a floor obsession, however, and persist in not only scrubbing this sort of flooring, but to add to it, they put on other unnecessary substances to further enhance the shine they deem is mandatory. I must admit, I am not into housekeeping other than only what is necessary. There's so much else more fun. It's not something I do to appease my emotional state but there are people who find floor scrubbing, therapeutic. My neighbour happens to be one, although I have never spoken to her about this phobia. Her unit is three fully carpeted and elevatored floors upward from the outdoor sidewalks.  By the time even a logging boot got to her door, it would be pristine. The only exception are sneakers that seem to be designed to fill up with mud when its soft, and then dry at which time, the mud falls out in little bits. Most of the elders who live here, don't sport the latest technicolour dreamworld sneakers that kids wear, so this is not the case. But my neighbour has either a bulldozer or street sweeper up there, and when she does her floor, which is every second day, my ceilings vibrate and creak as the therapy ensues. I would love to get a viewing of her equipment that must be boss heavy. Then again, as they say in the manual for peaceful condo decorum, "we have to live". I am not sure what that means or to whom it applies, but peace to me has something to do with silence, not floors.