The Reclusive Life

Most advice for reclusive types like me, is that it isn't healthy being home a lot. You must go out and about they urge or you aren't well. Why I ask? I've always been a form of loner in spite of a long time, enjoyable career in Education. I suspect there are many people just like me who simply love being on their own, doing their own life their own way. I am the same as everyone else: I shop, I visit, I keep up with world events, I game, I stay in touch with relatives and friends. What I don't do, is go out every day or sometimes every two or three weeks. You must go walking I am told. Fine, I walk but not out on long pointless meanderings thank you very much. I find that boring and would much rather read a good book on my Kindle or play online Bridge or write on my keyboard, rather than go to parties or clubs or teas or restaurants that some of my acquaintances fret that I should do more often. Why? Having been a kind of loner most of my life, until I met another loner to marry happily, I find being alone, not lonely. I like it. I like it a lot. There are no arguments or disagreements or space discomforts. Yes, there is still cooking and cleaning and managing it all, but the decisions are by one alone.  Me. A loner needs carefully to consider matters that most other people talk over with their buddies or spouses. But life is simple and clean and peaceful, alone. With a computer and all that it offers world-wide, how can I be bored? Ever. All the " but it isn't right that you have your groceries delivered and do almost all of your shopping on line and that is sad and worrisome". Not to me. I have the world to shop in. I do everything on line with good security. It offers me games to play and endless information.  Sure, I have family and all the rest, and when I do go out to clubs or social events, I enjoy them enormously. But they aren't what ensures my complete happiness. I am out on my sundeck every day to enjoy what I see and hear and sense. My world is small and beautiful and I surround myself with items that have meaning and offer stories and are beautiful objects holding memories of world travel and adventure. In short, my home is my world of the past, present and future, all set up in one place that I live right inside, and I love it. No thanks, to the white, gray and silver hardwood space lengths with nothing to feast your eyes on or tell people who you are, that is the current decor. My grandgather clock is right next to the modern metal mirror, the antique desk holds orchids along with the two ancient ink well dogs that gaze up at them. My new black leather couch, has behind it, a very up-date art piece of a woman contemplating or meditating. She has an aura that bespeaks mystery. Some of my tables were once very old trees that lived and breathed in a forest. My favorite books line some of the walls. No, I am not a minimalist. This is my alone world, my planet, my carless careless life that I love. No argument about it, I am a confirmed recluse. Well, sort of. 

Golden Age? Humbug

 Being a "senior citizen", a kindly word for aged, is certainly not golden. Gold is a beautiful expensive substance that is proudly displayed. Why the word "gold" is used to describe what it's like to be old is ridiculous. There is little "beautiful" in terms of the present day meaning of "beautiful",  nor is age proudly displayed other than the thought of achieving a long life. Being of the so-called Golden Age is actually a time that is, for most people, uncomfortable. Aging brings challenges. If you are a woman, you either give up or you try too hard. Out comes either wearing the give-up and be granny dress or else the spa memberships, diets, hair dye, the "procedures" in an attempt to look younger.  None of them work unless  you like fooling yourself. Nor has everyone the money to do it. And for some, aging it is a painful, lonely experience they never thought they would suffer. Our society worships young. Sure, we all lie about how great it is to build "all your wonderful memories".  Really? When the door is shut, it's another tale. In some cultures, old age is respected and even revered. The young of those groups listen to the aged for their own benefit. In most Western cultures, age is ignored, ridiculed and/or feared. I am being honest here, and it is uncomfortable to be honest. Truth hurts. The endless jokes about aging begin age fortyish with receiving cute emails listing all the ho ho ho about it.  They're cute. And "cute" is not necessarily a word for pretty. You wake up one day and say to yourself, oh oh, I'm an an oldie. My my back, my knees, my whole body tells me. My hair is thinning, falling out, turning white. The way people treat me is as  a fragile, mindless wreck to moan and coo at. They "help" you when you didn't ask for it. I see movies with duded up old guys paired with women younger  than their daughters, while the old female actors are either not hired or relegated to roles as the witchy bosses. And if the female actors are seen with younger men, they're called the name of a dangerous animal. So what to do about the aging state? One solution is to believe that younger people hee hee, are going to be where  you are shortly, if that's your comfort. It isn't mine. Or, you can ignore the ignorant comments and mores that don't see you as what you truly are wrinkles and sags notwithstanding.  You have experience that younger people have yet to earn. Theirs will be different, but experience is what built our human history. We learn from each other. Do not give up the importance of your contribution. Be steadfast and hold your head high to blast through all that silliness and be You. You are still you with all you've lived no matter what is going on with your wearing down body. Even if sometimes forgetful or slower or don't hear or see as well, you remain everything you did before you found yourself "old". You experienced what no one else has or ever will, and that's what makes you, you. What others say about memories is absolutely true.  You are a naturally aging human being who has enjoyed the beautiful, precious gift of life on earth. That's the gold.

Book Club Blues

 My book club is important to me, but like every organization one belongs to, changes take place. As new members enter or leave, it's natural. So far, we have been able to keep it going and doing very well. We are all satisfied with how it's working. We don't use one book together, but bring to our gatherings, what we have read and that which impresses us enough to talk about it with others. Since we all have specific tastes, members of our six or so, enjoy learning from each others' choices, about a book or author,  that we would like to try. But also, as in any other book club, some of the routines we made in the past, are either escalating or declining and the time has come to discuss them. I am going to avoid being specific to our own book club, but most of what happens, does so in all of them that are long-running. When you have six personalities, you have six egos and six needs and six histories and six hopes and six tastes. Well, six everythings. That's what makes it interesting. In our book club, we live or lived, in the same condo building, and our ages and situations are somewhat similar. This is good and not so good. The good part, is that if we have a glass of wine, we don't need to drive anywhere to get to book club. It's just up or down the elevator and/or hallway. Although we live in the same building, we aren't too close personally, so that when we go to book club, we still learn something new about our fellows. But, since we all live under the same basic roof, we are inclined occasionally to talk about "what's going on in this place" and that is not a good idea to get into. Fortunately in our group, we aren't afflicted with a dominating person who wants only to talk about itself or attempts to determine what we should and should not read or do. That would make life difficult!  What does need changing, and what often happens in a close group such as ours, is sometimes dwelling too much into personal matters of  individuals. Of course, we have empathy for each other and our situations, but it's something that needs control. We often digress for too long.  If it becomes  too personal or time-consuming,  it can overshadow the true purpose of the book club. We are there about books and reading. Number One. In some groups, I have heard, there are individuals with strong egos who dominate the group irresistibly and wield power in such a way,  that it is hard to control. Everyone wants to be "nice". But the democratic process rules. When situations arise, hopefully, book club members will be open and frank but respectful  enough to discuss problems and how to solve them, in a peaceful, understanding and generous atmosphere. When a book club strays from its original purpose, it takes courage for the group to bring it back to be what it needs to be. Problems that can sink a book club might be  gossip pits , deep therapy sessions, individual ego shows, over elaborate food and décor opportunities and others.  Any matter than causes the group or a host, stress is unfair.  Book clubs are wise to assess from time to time, where they stand, and how to make changes that will work.  Only then, can we readers, continue saying, long live our book club. 

Crushing Comment

 As many of you, I , too, read the daily news on-line offered by our tax-payer funded media. I enjoy learning what reporters are doing and their presentations of what and how they see goings on.  Many of these show a kind of personal or professional bias the arises from the plethora of "investigative" staff who are very often free-lancers selling their "stuff" to whatever media will buy it. When this kind of "reporting" happens I feel that the reader should be informed that they are seeing a certain bias which is fostered by certain reporters who firmly believe that they have sniffed out some kind of injustice and want the world to know about it and receive money for it. All well and good, but what happens is that it lends authority to the reporter who has put itself into a very crucial and judgemental position. People say, "well, if it is written, it has to be true." And that's okay too, as long as the audience is aware of their "slant", if there be one. The media giants who buy these articles should be aware of something called democratic opinion making. I often comment on articles I read, in the area where that is made possible and also, often, I am deleted by their censorship folk. I agree that distasteful comment should be removed, but often what I comment on and how, is not distasteful even though it may present an opposing viewpoint other than the article's. I try to make my comments respectful and naturally, without the use of rude language, but with an opinion perhaps not of the reporter's. Sometimes it is what I consider a better perspective. I find it frustrating when my comment that seems just as fair as others in the string but that which takes a different stance than others that are permitted to remain. In fact, I find it downright disrespectful. Reporters ought to appreciate this. Sure, there are always differing sides or points of view in every situation regardless of how perhaps  unpopular they might be. And when commenting others are permitted to disagree. It all should be fair.  To be swiftly denied making a comment, however, tastefully presented but with a different view than the writer of the article, seems to be flying the face of what reporting is all about. A true reporter is a writer who presents a picture of what actually happened without colouring it in any way, while often reporters do the opposite and write the piece with their own take. That is not reporting, that's essaying. If not actually "essaying", it can also be a push to become popular with others who may hold the same  opinion and thus they, be recognised as a "buddy" of that philosophy. Do you see what I mean? Writing to pad up one's popularity by adding more fuel to a reporter's fire, is not challenging free thought which should always be at the bottom of every reporter's efforts. That doesn't mean one should be stirring up an audience ire, but neither should it be pandering the writer's ego by merely underlining what is a already a popular opinion. A comment on an article, ought to be welcomed and treated fairly, even  if it is an opposing viewpoint. If it is tastefully written and comes up with a unique idea, I feel another writer should welcome it. My reason is that often times I see, perhaps being older, a longer perspective than that of my own nose, one that is a considered and not something that simply underscores an already trite one. That's as stupid as counting one's"hits" on line. The hype of that trash is ugh. We all need to think critically and while perhaps opinions by non- professionals isn't important, it ought to be aired for freedom of speech and opinion's sake if nothing else. 

Rock On

 Not a big fan of hard music rock, I don't mind a little soft rock. But this isn't about music. As I've said before, I go out every single day: rain, shine, sleet or snow to have my first coffee on the deck. I love the time sitting in my basket chair just rocking and sipping. There's something about not only being outside no matter the weather, and that "something", is rocking. This morning, while gazing at the great sentinel cedars rising nearby above these city roofs, and watching the birds beginning to gather and flock as they do in the Fall, I rock. I call it my meditation time, and it beats medication. I had some elder neighbours once, who took sleeping pills and seldom made an appearance before noon. How sad is that? First of all, those who believe they have to sleep a certain number of hours a night and at certain times while they are retired, have it all wrong. When you don't work, you can sleep any time you wish. If you sleep away the morning, the best half of the day, you are missing out. If I happen to wake up at three in the morning, I think, what a great time to do some reading or maybe writing on my computer. Who cares about the clock or the silly questions elders are asked such as "who is the prime minister" or " what's the date"? Learned people put a lot of weight on these questions. Do we care? Nope.  I have news for  you. Seniors have given up living by the clock or calendar other than the necessary dates and times required for appointments. And even then, we don't always take them seriously. If we err on them, hey, that is a senior "normal". Being out on my deck in my rocking basket chair, can be at any time of the day or night and it's always a joy no matter when. I can see only one bright star at night, due to the scathingly brilliant lights used for "security" by my neighbours. Thieves don't have wings and usually go on foot, so what's the point in lighting up a whole sky?  Keep those things shining down where they belong. Please. Back to rocking. When we are babies, and need comfort, we are rocked. As tots, we love to have a toy to sit on and rock. The rocking motion is comforting due to our being inside our moms as they moved about. The rocking motion makes us feel safe as we were then.  When we are small children we head for the park or back yard swings because, there again, we love to rock. It makes us feel like flying and being free of gravity that is constantly at work pulling us and everything else ever down.Those who are afflicted with certain mental complaints often rock to comfort themselves. How else can they express this need for comfort? Rocking seems to be something that everyone loves, and many people save their old mismatching rocking chair to rock in. We need, in this stressed-out world, to find comfort, and what better way than to rock. It's free. and makes on feel free. Rocking back and forth is not gazing at the TV black news or silly cell phone and being addicted to plucking away at it for no reason at all. Put these things down, and get into a rocking chair, a swing, a swinging basket chair hung inside or out, and rock your cares away.  As you rock, just rock, not talk, not worry, not stress you'll fee much better. Try it and  you'll see. 

Air Fryer Little Liar

 An air fryer doesn't fry, it sizzles because it's really a tiny convection oven and doesn't fry at all.  That's the "lie" or the "lay of it".  Before putting out the money for the one I eventually bought, I did some research on this kind of relatively new kitchen appliance. Most of the air fryers are large and do take up counter space galore. They're a bit too heavy to pop under the counter, so likely. if you have one, it will sit on your counter top. Mine is right beside my glass topped stove and when I use it, I simply set it onto the stove top and therefore have access to the fan as well. By now, you know that I appreciate my air fryer and use it often to cook meals for one. But it would easily do for two as well. Or just for snacks for a busy family. Youngsters can use the appliance with a little training and supervision of course. Paying close attention to what I learned on the net, You Tube advice, I bought one that is highly recommended but has only an oven part, no glass or multi racks and other do dads that don't actually do what they say. All you need is the oven kind and I would say, buy the one that may not look as cute, but is deigned to work better than they do. And don't buy a bunch of racks. They are just not necessary.  My AF is so easy to clean, it's ridiculous. When I take out and set aside, the cooked product, I put the oven with the handle into my farm sink (the large no divider type because I like space in a sink) and fill it with hot water,  squirting in some detergent. I leave the no-stick rack inside and let the fryer shelf sit for a bit before washing it and drying it and putting it back into its "garage" on the fryer. No heavy scraping and cleaning necessary. Today, I piled some fresh cut potato slices, green beans and onion rounds in the centre of the rack and circliing them right out of the freezer, chicken wings. Of course, I rinsed the potato and dried the pieces and dredged  the whole mess in herbed olive oil before popping it into the fryer. In less than twenty minutes, I had a delicious, fragrant meal of meat and veg that tasted great and was not overdone. The air fryer doesn't mind you popping open the little door and checking occasionally. Yesterday, I use a frozen burger patty with a thick onion slice on top and enjoyed a home-done hamburger for lunch with lots of lettuce and tomato on top. If you live alone in a small space, I  highly recommend this as a vital tool helper that will do just about anything an oven will. Herbs and spices are highly favoured to make meals done in your bitsy oven that also roasts as well with timing you can set. It also turns itself off if you forget. While it may cost you what seems a lot at first, it is an energy saver because doing small items using a large stove oven is like heating a mansion when all you really need is one warm room. I would also suggest that you buy a quick touch thermometer to make sure your final temps are safe when doing meats. I AFed a marinated steak the other day,  and it was perfect.