When Will We Learn

High schools are complaining that students are disinterested, being absent for long periods, distracted while in class, behaving obnoxiously and rude. In short, they are obviously, other than the minority, disgruntled. We spoiled them long ago into thinking that it's all about being entertained. Here's an idea. Make school a paying job. When a kid is sixteen, send it to work. At school. Paid work. They do it on scene, not at home online, where it's too easy to get the smart kid to do it for one. (Yes, that happens a lot.)  You work in person, in a class that teaches how to write a resume, how to get up and speak to an audience, how to fix a vehicle, how to build something,  how to survive in a crisis,  what marriage commitment is all about, and the vast difference between love and sex. Just some of what really matters when it's time to graduate and enter the real world.  But they must do it on scene, not away. It's a job. They get breaks and have unions and rules. And they can be docked pay if they don't perform. I imagine if I walked into a high school, I would see a curriculum very much like the one I had to go through where I took almost nothing away to do  my professional career and the degree to get it. That, I learned at university or for others to their choices, their callings, at practical centres that served their needs. We need students to tell us seriously what their high schools should be for them. We need to listen to them and they need to help themselves. Our teens need what is useful now and what will be needed in future such as getting along in society, managing money and their own personal growth in a difficult world. Trig, physics, Shakespeare (bless his work), and ancient history don't hack it until later on in life when experience tells one it's time. Big leap. Let's fix high schools. 

Delivery My Foot

My favorite delivery company's name begins with an A and they get an "A" for their effort. One other that promises a parcel, doesn't deliver to my door and gets a letter grade  of E.  When I pluck the no delivery slip off the outside window, I call and tell the woman at their office that all I got was a  get a"broken promise" and no parcel. I stay home and wait for the call to let the chap into the lobby but he doesn't call. What I get is a slip of paper badly written, on the glass outside by the call board that will let him in if he calls me. This happens regularly with this particular company and yjr many other reviews show it. Trouble calls to their company are not effective. They apologise but that's it. Going on line to trace what's happening doesn't work either. I have tried it and when I enter the Tracking Number, I am informed on line, that there is no such number. We consumers pay for delivery when we order an item on line, and this nonsense about having to get into our cars and go pick up our parcels from a depot is sheer bad business and also bad for the environment. When we pay for delivery; we expect delivery. I don't want my parcel sent back to the supplier simply because some driver was too lazy to deliver it to my door. This chap stands right beside the call board, filling out a can't-supply slip, and then slapping it on the window outside. I am inside not getting the call. Many ther people complain often of the same company, but it  continues to operate. The solution? Contact the supplier of your goods and advise them to not use this particular delivery company that promises deliveries but doesn't come across. Also, consumers should do reviews stating what occurred. None of us who pay for delivery should be traipsing off to a depot to deliver our own parcels. 

A "People" Person

 There isn't much good about being a perfect "people person" over just being a person. I know a woman who prides herself, even as an elder, in having been a "people person".  But, she says, that is not solely it now. She learned the hard way. Everyone saw her  as  adorable because she knew all the right words to say, how to be pretty and fashionable, be the best entertainer, have a home that was perfect being the best wife and mother. She was ever cheery and light-hearted in any social situation.  In short, a  "Barbie". People told her, "you're a doll". Socially, she was sought out. She did not do well at school but in its place enjoyed popularity and lots of dates. Who doesn't enjoy  basking in the warmth of such a person? But what we see isn't always what we thought.  As a pretty child, she was taught  to entertain adults, to be noticed as  sweet and giving at all time. She was rewarded by her parents who encouraged her in competitive appearance events: dancing and fashion. If she didn't win, they made up their own trophies. The message was always, do what we tell you to do because you have to perform as the special girl who smiles all the time if you want to be loved and accepted. She married the school hero and made his work successful by further performances as the business entertainer and trophy wife. The end result was mental illness and a family break-up. You may have guessed already, she was an abuse victim at home.  Kids who are given the message that one must be nice and giving all the time, a "people person", learn that love begins with knowing oneself first. We can be ourselves,  make mistakes along the way and forgive ourselves as we try to  make things right. Parents know that a healthy child is not a performer or one who needs to be trained as a "people person". They can be that, but also more: to love the good in oneself and see it in others to make ourselves complete and happy people.

Parental Regret

 A new revelation that we've always known but would never say, is that many today-parents admit that they regret having had children. Why? " It's too darn hard" is the bare answer. Some of the working couples ( aren't they all?) say that they decided to have offspring because it seemed right at the time, but they didn't know how difficult it was to cope with work, play and kids. Ahem, ahem. No parents do, because all babies, all children are not the same. Sometimes it's easy and the baby sleeps, and other times, the baby "never" sleeps. One father who says he "loves" his little daughter, says that he becomes bored playing with her after about twenty minutes. Boo and hoo. Could be that his little girl is also bored. Most youngsters have an attention span of ten minutes or less. Just ask the kindergarten teacher. In fact, asking is the best education. Speak to other parents in a broad poll. Read how to play with children. Read about their psychology - it's not the same as an adult's nor a teenager's. They are all different. And most of all, stop thinking that you have to have a PHD in parenthood. Just relax and stop trying to do the modern "if I am not perfect, I'm no good" thing. Children are flexible like no adult can be. Also, you are not your child's slave. You don't need to be at them, entertaining them all the time. They're kids. Let them be kids. Just be around. Never say " I don't have time for this" because you do, and the first rule is JUST LISTEN, NOT TALK. Listening to some parents means, constantly blabbling at their kids. You hear it in stores. If there's a tantrum. Easy.  YOU are the parent, do what works and talking doesn't. Remove the scene - is what works and I do not mean punishment. Removal and no talking gives you the power. Act, don't yak.  Please. The joy of having a child isn't peace and order always; it's something much bigger and more beautiful. It's the love, the hugs, the closeness that will last all your life if you  love back. Use " I love you" and simply be there to listen without talking.  Answer questions, keep it short and don't threaten and preach. When you're the old parent, that's when there is a return. Maybe not before. 

Vertical Cure For The West

 Lately, there is a fuss and feathers about a particular USA politician saying Canada should become a US fifty-first state. Besides the fact that the politician named, hasn't taken a look at a map of the globe recently, he doesn't appear to know that all of his little states dotting their own map, are hardly anywhere near the scope of our huge, less peopled and more democratic,country, Canada. Frankly, I think our land mass is also slighty more than that of continental US, anyway. None of us take the 51st blurt seriously - especially said by a comedian person.  Tariffs are not the same topic of course.  I have another vision, no matter how ridiculous it might sound.   Certainly, it's not as ridiculous as the "become a state" nonsense. The west coast of North American has some of the most dynamic, vibrant and imaginative pieces of political landscape ever known, and if those of us upon whom the Pacific Ocean laps, namely: BC, the Yukon, Alaska, Washington, Oregon and  California, got together and created a new country, now THAT would make a lot of sense. Certainly far more than the silly idea that the US could force us into statehood (yuk). They, southward are just not us in any way.  If we Westerners had the gumption to do this, join to make a new country, vertically on the continent, we could corner all the markets. Just think of it: the tourism, film making ops, ocean resources that would blow up in abundance!  The hot and the cold coming together vertically on the globe. The new country would have the tallest mountains, most accessible beaches, best boating with filming venues away from the ice and snows farther to the east not to mention the shipping ports possible. Wow. From top to bottom, nothing but great weather, beautiful scenery, outdoor activities and a bunch of people who are not stuck in a rut of a two party system. Wow, what we could do! BC should make Washington, Oregon, California and Alaska provinces and begin a brand new country. Why not fly that one?

Listen In

 You can make your life better simply by listening in. Listen in to your body. You may think your brain rules your body but that's not true. Your body is prime. Your body can feel and your brain only rides around on it because it's your brain's world. A brain doesn't feel, your body does.  You can live with a brain that went to sleep but your brain can't survive without a body to keep it alive. It needs the body's electrical and nourishing factors to keep it active.  We humans come up with cute little sayings we think are very clever but often they are illogical, and often silly. "No pain, no gain" is one. If you listen to your body, it will tell you that is stupid.  When your body is hungry, it doesn't mean it wants something sweet or mind numbing; it means it will serve better with good nutrition. Your body cells have told your brain  that it wants to "go". You put gas and oil into your car for the same reasons. You need to "go", meaning you need to feel whole and happy. When you hurt, it tells you "don't do that any more".  When you are sad, it tells you " seek happiness". When you are angry, it tells you "find peace not punch". Your body is very demanding and it needs time to figure out what is "happiness" for you. Your happiness is yours alone. Meditate your own way. You don't have to run to a studio or temple to find out how to meditate. Sit somewhere nice, look at something nice and just sit. Don't listen, don't watch, don't try to think. Just be quiet and sit or lie comfortably to be nothing and do nothing. If you do this, your brain will begin to talk to you, and you and your body will begin to listen. If you are brave enough to try this, and do it longer and longer every day, you will find a better life and have a better body and your brain will love you. 

Cut The Cord

 When a baby is born, most doctors attending the birth, have the mother or father cut the umbilical cord. It's unfortunate that this symbolism doesn't  apply to the  issue of adult "children" living with their aging parents. The female adult of twenty-seven years, in this radio article example, is living with her parents, has an MA they paid for, a full-time job, pays no rent, and contributes little to the household costs or work. She admits it. Her parents are in their seventies. I don't know if this tale disgusts you as much as it did, me. This adult "girl" complains somewhat, of not having the freedoms she wishes because she lives "under her parents' roof". What? I thought I had heard wrongly. The whole story sickened me. My heart bled for the parents. The piece gave, as examples, similar weird situations. Most of the takers were young women who called themselves "children". A child is someone who has not reached adulthood and has no means of supporting themselves thus they live under parental care. Girl or boy. Parents today provide everything for their children and spend their lives indulging in their childrens' every need and want. It looks wonderful, but in the end, that child has to make it on its own.  Many of the parents expect nothing from their young adults in sharing the work and expense of  a household and when they "come back home" the grown child thinks it will continue. Parents have done their job and deserve to enjoy a child free life again. Sure there should visits. Because a grown child in its twenties can't have every little thing it once did as a child, doesn't mean it will or should continue when they grow up. Why isn't this lesson clear?  Their parents sacrificed for them. Now it's their turn. They learn responsibility only by using it.  If the adult child has a job, it's a personal duty to take up their own survival in this demanding world.  Gone are "mommy and daddy". They did their job.  Yes, you are going to live in a place unlike your once pretty little bedroom. Your parents, the adults you lived with for so long as a child,  might let you live in their basement or spare room for awhile. But if so, you have to fend for yourself and pay up as well: groceries, rent, your expenses. It's not a free world any more. No, you won't have the shiny new car or a great wardrobe. You will be among the huge growing numbers of young people out there struggling under difficult times. Your parents want you, after a life of ease that they paid for, to become an adult. They struggled. Now it's your turn. Buck up. You're the adult now. The cord is cut. 

In Black and White

 A while ago, I went on a cruise with my sister who was almost a year younger than me. We were close until puberty and then things changed. We each became our own person.  We went to different schools: mine academic, and hers technical. There were teen wars often in the room we shared and when our parents divorced, we also, went separate ways. She left school and took on a successful job and later married.  I took up a teaching career and married later on, too.  As adults we moved and grew apart but in later life, to bring us back together, I suggested we take a sister cruise. Our kids were grown up and we  had the time and resources. It all went well and was fun originally. But one day on the ship, an argument ensued over an article. It had a Canadian reference. The letters CA appeared and she swore that made it Canadian. I knew it wasn't, and gave evidence but that didn't work. There was a new rift that didn't go away.  What happened seemed an example of how easily people can believe what they read or see and are convinced by it. It doesn't matter if there is proof to back it up or not. I had a housekeeper also, who  who swore that Martians had landed because she read it in a newspaper and that made it true. I couldn't convince her that the paper was not a reliable one and the piece was fiction. This kind of obtuse thinking can be applied to what influences social media victims  these days. We  turn to a social media and there it is all pretty and bright and happy. If it's said by someone we admire, we believe it without question. We want to. It's something like the Santa myth.  And far too many lethal tragedies have occurred in this way. We can tell our kids or show them but it still happens over and over again. The answer?  Stepping "outside" of the box or away from it, better, might help. That little black box habit has a dark side.