Skirts

 Skirts I see aren't just for women. Saw a movie the other day and a young man, wore a skirt - how enticing is that? I loved it. But ladies, our best secret is skirts. First of all they are traditionally female and what could be better to love your  female or whatever gender group does that image. Skirts move, they swing, their very motion as we move, is romantic and musical. For those who worry about their shapes, they fit anyone no matter their measurements. They hide in the best way, what needs to be hidden. Trousers or pants aren't an option when you need not to show some of the naturally occurring lumps and bumps in our bodies that are what they are.  Skirts can be any style or colour, for evening or day wear, long or lady short, they rock. If you sew, a skirt is one of the most simple forms of stitchery. One or two side seams will do it, with a tie or elastic at the top, a hem, and voila, you've got yourself a skirt. A simple trick is cutting off the top of an old dress and making the bottom into a skirt. I keep a roll of thinner elastic always on hand. Your wardrobe of skirts is a matter of easy storage, even rolling them into a drawer or for travel, into your carry-on. With a blazer and appropriate shoes, you are ready to go with your collection of skirts. For summer, something light and airy with an under slip, again, one  you can fashion yourself out of a silky cloth, turns your day to cool and feminine. Add a tee shirt and sandals and it's beach or board walk wear. To dinner or even a formal cruise ball, the skirt reigns. Your day blazer that styles you over your skirt, can be replaced with a fancy jacket or top, some interesting jewelry and you're GO. For work, out comes your blazer collection and from your skirt bevy, whatever works that day. Add some fashionable white summer sneakers and work becomes a lot more relaxing and fun in summer. In winter, get out those knee high boots to pair with  your skirts. Being fashionable is being versatile and piecing rather than putting on a dress, is a lot more fun in planning what to wear. Skirts and interesting sweaters, for plus sizes work; add an XL or even a man size sweater with shoulder padding and neat bling, and your look can be yummy. Never, large ladies, squeeze into anything. That can make you look like a decor sausage. Always go bigger than you are so that the garment flows on you rather than looking like you're something stuffed into it. Not pretty. And go long, never mini. Rarely does a mini skirt look good on anyone, no matter their age or legs. It takes the ideal figure to carry that one off without seeing winces. Find your best colour and never go neon unless you are ready to climb up a signpost and glow. Let someone else do that. Keep it simple, a kind colour and  loose rather than tight. Please no doo dads that scream "here I am" because you might hear "okay, here I go".  Lots of bling and ruffles and neons are for the very, very young and even then, not in good taste. Your personality will shine, your clothing doesn't need to. 

Grief Riders

 Grief riders are not the professional ones with their radio and podcast "shows" who go on and on about the troubles of other people and are paid to do it. No. I speak of those around me, who seem to have nothing else to do in a positive vein but ride on the troubles of others. They belong to what I call the Eyore Camp or the Grief Riders. The other day, an old friend of mine, ranted on and on about a friend of his whom I met just once, and his friend's problems. I listened but honestly, if I had a cell phone, something I am beginning to abhor, I would have said, "Oh, I have to take this". By the time he finished the long and sad tale, and it was, in fact sad, I thought I, too, had suffered the same horrific event. His unfortunate associate, had a death in the family of an elder who had been ill for some time and  died. The aftermath was that the deceased elder's mate who then became ill seriously and was in a facility suffering the wiles of his illness and the place he had to be housed in out of mental and physical necessity. While the tale drizzled on, I, perhaps unkindly but out of exhaustion wanted it to please end. I thought to myself "Well, why don't you, the friend, do something about it or shut up if you can't because you are dragging me down and I don't like it." I know it would too unkind to do so, but the reality was that spreading this kind of problem to everyone you meet doesn't help anyone including the teller or as I call them, the Grief Riders. They love to cling to these events because it makes them the bearer of bad news and in what they think is, a way to be popular because we all love bed news?   Someone else's problems are theirs, not ours. Once you listen to the bad news of others, you feel you must let it go because riding on that kind of chat only drags everyone down. So how do you fix it?  Changing the subject carefully away from the dark side toward a lighter one might help. Changing the venue such as moving into another space to listen, or a different place could also divert the subject. Doing something different such as making a cup of coffee or tea or offering some kind of distraction could help. Cake is good or like an old friend of mine, now gone, who used to keep a little package of fruit lozenges and would slip them out of her pocket and point it your way is another idea. If you pop a sweet candy into your mouth, everything goes sweet. And for those who don't sugar up, there are sweet tasting ones with no sugar. The media appears to do only the negatives but they are for the people I speak of, the Grief Riders who feast on them. When they stop you to chat, out comes their collection of the Did You Hear About. There is so much bad news every day in the media no matter in what way you take it, so there should be no end of topics you have to suffer through when you are delayed by a Grief Rider.  Those who charge people like me with being Pollyanna's can go trot. I like being a Pollyanna, a lot. Reason is, I refuse to wade through my life in muck. I am going to find the high road; I am going to see the blue of the sky, not rain. I want to be happy. For sure I will donate, I will listen, I will feel,  but I won't stay down if a downer you are. Fixes for most of them are "no thanks", "bye bye" and "Sorry, I have to take this call."  

Big Words

 I was charged by someone the other day as using "big words" that she had never heard of. The word that I use seldom but now, because it was appropriate for what I was imparting, was "vociferous". I described someone who was "loud", too loud for my liking and the term seemed the most appropriate. What surprised me was that the woman had never heard it and that's what made me begin to think about language in general. One of the university courses I had not taken but wanted to, was Linguistics. Language and words have always been of keen interest to me. Lately, I am fascinated by Aborigine words posted on  lands now bearing their original names. I need help in learning how to speak them because their pronunciations are complex in my language experience. Language is very important to culture. What we say is borne of our life experience. If you grow up with a certain way to speak and words used, it becomes your language. Within that language, there are levels of complexity. To explain that isn't easy but one way, is to think of being a writer of children's books. Children are learners. They start from zero. All of their senses and memories have to do with their growing and changing surroundings and experiences. What they hear and see and feel, becomes their speaking language. At first, their reading and understanding is limited and simple because they are learning day to day as new events occur in their lives. It all begins at birth and some think, even before that in utero. Sounds are tried out by little ones who learn that language offers opportunities. Without some kind of  language, it's hard to survive. Reading and writing and their uses rise and can thus be described as levels of language.  When someone says "you're using big words that are too big" means that they are not comfortable with that so-called level of vocabulary. It shouldn't be considered low or high but merely a level of learning. We continue to learn language and achieve "words" all of our lives. Some people are called pedantic which means they are deliberately "showing off" in using complicated words that others don't understand. Then again, it could be their natural language level or one that they have assumed out of their own personal experience. They are also innocent as charged.  New words come to us every day and some are more fascinated by them than others. There should be no class system in the matter but it happens anyway. Churchill, I am told, used simple, elegant English language when he wrote his famous series of books about warring. He also spoke in parliament, the same politically powerful way. We are all impressed by those who have learned many languages and can speak them fluently. I find words fascinating and always have, from the second I learned that the sqiggles I saw as a young child in a book or what my father was looking at behind a newspaper, and that these symbols had some kind of mysterious strength. Reading expands vocabulary. It's all part of daily learning. 

Bridge Online

 Bridge is one, if not the only one, card game that offers the most challenging enjoyment and brain food. Early in my marriage to an avid Bridge player, we went to play Bridge at the homes of friends, but I  understood barely what was going on.  I should have been wearing a dunce cap. My next venture with Bridge was at condo social club events during which we set up a few tables to enjoy the game. By that time, I was a little more experienced in Bridge, but didn't have enough experience to play with confidence. My poor partners suffered along with me but in the next few years, I still continued to be a "beginner". As to keeping score or flying into conventions that was simply not possible nor did I have any desire to be a crackerjack Bridge buff. I certainly did not want to become part of the Bridge addicts groups who played almost every day of the week and were seriously competitive. I didn't want to play any game with that kind of mix. Then I discovered online Bridge where no one knows anyone, thus there is no embarrassment on making a stupid mistake or being unable to win constantly. I began to thoroughly enjoy the game when all the stress was so removed. Also, my game improved by leaps and bounds. I am still just an average player but online Bridge has become one of my fondest pleasures. I continue to be too lazy to keep score or worry a lot about stunning my fellow players with foxy moves or using conventions that, to me, are an unnecessary part of loving the game. For some people, it's their delight and that's fine; not for me. There are some issues with online secret partner games however. The site I use, has rules and it tries to hurry the slowpokes up but it offers at no charge, hours of stimulating play. While the names you play with are no one you know and they could be from any corner of the world being online, they often become familiar. the names of those that have chose a unique one at some. I have notice many traits with secret players, some of them  enjoyable and others, maddening. The ones I find annoying  that after beginning a game and the bidding is over and the game proceeding, the minute you and your partner are down in the score, that person leaves the game and you are given a bot to play with. Someone told me that when he plays, if he sees he doesn't have a chance at winning the game, he's not going to waste his time continuing to play. I find that hard to understand since it is a game and naturally, you can't expect to win all the games you play. Part of play is the anticipation of winning, and if that doesn't happen, there is another chance right around the corner, to win. Sure. It is frustrating when hand after hand, you don't get good cards and the theory is, that if you don't have a counting hand, what's the point? The point is good sportsmanship as a team member. You start a game, you finish a game. You don't walk off the field in a huff. My take. Another annoying habit is when some players show temper, they will bid outlandishly and leave their own partner in a situation where it must play out a game that is not possible to win because of the ridiculous bid. Some in a snit, often before they leave, bid slam with no cards to show for it. It leaves all the other players stuck because they have to play on with the bad move. Still other players often bid up in anger to show their ire. They bid beyond the cards they are holding just to be a nuisance trying to force the bid up to an impossible place on their opponents. You Bridge players know what I mean. The games I love most are defensive ones that require a good memory and maneuvering style to try and increase the score even though a win may not be possible. Even with a low chance of acquiring as many tricks as you need, you play a clever game manipulating your moves just so. It isn't all about winning but about playing a keen game and online Bridge has it all.

Bad Sports

 Going to a sports event should be a completely joyful experience. Booing and jeering at the players, while maybe part of the game, one is told, is not. If you're in the stands, you don't have to boo or cat call. It's ignorant anywhere, anytime. The whole idea behind a public sport is to go and have a good time watching a couple of teams, in most cases, vie against each other knowing all the important protocol and rules about what ought to and must be done. The players aren't sitting behind a desk in a nice corner office, fashionably mouthing off to make their money; no, they have to  put their whole bodies into their work. They are, in short, sacrificing themselves and possibly their future health, as well as the present one, into actual danger. The dangers are obvious and present: concussions, muscle and bone problems and perhaps when they are older, arthritis. Some even become paralysed or rarely and sadly, lose their lives doing what is supposed to be fun. What those watching games ought to appreciate is, that while the audience is maybe sitting in a seat with a drink, those they are  ranting rudely at, are putting out for them in a major sense. The players are entertainers. But not people on a stage with spotlights and no risk other than ego.  Sure athletes do it for money,  even if rarely, a lot of it, they aren't at play. They are serious about their jobs. First of all, they are very talented people who have been chosen to get out on a field or ice or sand or a mat or a gym floor for pay to give you a good time. They expose their bodies, their very lives for you, the fans. Personally, they want to win because that's what they grew up with when they were competing at school and university, on the courts, ice, floor and fields. They were god-given talent. Someone saw their superior ability and offered an opportunity to become stars if they worked hard enough and were lucky enough  to be with a team that has like values. Their coaches push them to the maximum, their team expects everything of them to make the whole team work as one, not just for the scoring stars. The audience or fans often have unreasonable expectations even though these athletes may not do as expected, but still put out their very best. Their friends, families, wives, husbands, partners and children do their bit, too, and it's not a light one, in having to see their parents and spouses and dear ones being away from homes that miss them very much. The men and women have to get out there pushing themselves to the limit while sometimes hearing terrible comments shouted at them while they are physically sweating it out, not for glory but to achieve their own personal goals. It can't be easy. When you hear how some coaches degrade their charges, because yes, they are under that blanket term, and say nasty and  hurtful criticism, it adds yet another layer of concern. How athletes in the professional realm can do it, I have no idea. The players say they love the game when I am sure there are many times,  they really don't, is a mystery. Long standing athletes are admirable not only for their stamina physically in the moment but also, over the long time, what has to do with their egos and their steadfastness in the face of all the stresses of what's expected of them by everyone around them: their owners, their teams, their private goals and those of the fans. No other kind of ordinary work demands that kind of strength. Yay, teams.

Reviewing Reviews

I wanted a juicer that wasn't something that took ten minutes to make juice and an hour and half to clean up. I began reading reviews by makers and also takers.  I saw lots of small juicers that looked ideal in the photos and ad videos. Some reviews were raves and others, rages.  Here, I have to admit that I am an online shopper because of the variety of products and prices that allow a broad venue. But that's another issue for another blog. What I wanted, was a small juicer that I could leave on my counter with my other little helpers and especially one that didn't take a huge effort to clean up after making juice. The machine had to be strong and reliable as well as reasonably attractive amongst the other black and steel collection of useables in my tiny kitchen. Online, I found a large selection of machines, but went with caution after having been duped once before when I bought a large one, and found that it took too much effort to set it up and clean it.  I didn't want to spend a whole afternoon making veg juice. I sold it. I began to buy  juices but they never  tasted  what freshly-made does. If you've ever tried doing your own carrot juice, you know what I mean. Incredible taste and energy hit.  In the search, I also discovered, thanks to You Tube what juicers are and should be and do, I was better educated. There are cold and other press juicers. I won't go into the whole picture but the cold press looked to be what I wanted. With the cold press, the left over pulp, is not as fine. But you peel the veg, pop it in and voila, juice! Thus, a cold press, having a more bulky by-product, makes for easier clean up. The particles are larger, thus  rinseable. I have to admit that for me, running machine parts under a hot water tap briefly is what I love. Make, drink and go. Also, I wanted to use the pulp to add to other cooking or baking projects such as banana/carrot/fruit loaf or into soups, stews or dips. The one small juicer I chose after much searching is perfect and does everything I want. It is very small, simple to use and produces instant juice and is simple to clean up. What bothered me was the search in reading reviews. I learned much from that experience. It seems there are three levels of reviewers. They are, one: the Pollyannas, two: the Cranks, three: the Serious Saras. Can any of them be trusted? Maybe. You have to read a vast number of reviews and discount those that are silly, those that hate everything and everyone, and you end up with the people you really want to heed. They are folks who tell in detail why they like the product or not. Reading lots of reviews in various places on a certain product you gain experience in it. Certain issues add up and from that you have a clearer picture of what you might choose. The bottom line is find out what the seller does about missing parts or faulty items. Can you send it back and get a refund? See what the reviews say about all the details.  It's all part of the fun of cybermall global shopper's learning. 

It's Blooming Time

 There is a knock on the door, and when you open it, there is a bouquet of flowers. What a delight! We bring them in, read the tiny card and have the pleasure of placing the container in a location where we can enjoy the blossoms and greenery for a long time. Most people attend their gift flowers from time to time but when I am fortunate enough to be sent flowers, they become a daily, delightful routine. I learned from a florist that very warm, not cold water is going to perk up your bouquet more. Add a touch of hydrogen peroxide if you have such. Most of us are gifted with flowers on special occasions and when I am so lucky, I adore them more than any kinds of hard goods, well, other than herbs and spices. In the mornings, I take the vases to my kitchen sink and there commune, my flowers and I. They are temporary just as we humans, another form of living biologic, but we are not over, we need only tending to continue to offer our beauties whatever they might be. I take each little arrangement from its container and snip the bottom ends, cutting the branch type ones on a slant for better absorption. Next, I change the water and add a little of the package of chemicals provided by most florists, not the whole package. I want to have more for the next day's tending. Recently, I bought  a sack of clear glass marbles into which I can stick the stems to hold them in place if necessary. The marbles not only look pretty, they are always on hand and easily cleaned and stored. When I am given a large bouquet, after a few days of tending and clipping away spoiled foliage and blossoms, I tend to divide the remaining items into smaller vases. That way I can see flowers, like being in a garden, from many rooms or places in a room. Using interesting found vases such as mugs or little bowls, anything that you like, into which you can poke some stems, makes it even more fun. If you do this, making your zen of the day, as you fix your flowery gifts, you will lose any or all stressful thoughts. Your mind has on it, only lovely fresh natural things instead of negatives. Your thinking is a complement and compliment, to those who gave you these pretty and inspiring plants. On a day last week, when I had come in from outside where the gardeners had been practising their arts, I decided to add something special to my life. I called up a florist who tells me they acquire their florals from Equador as well as locally. I made a standing order for myself, with the owner. Yourself, you say? Yup, I did it. The florist and I worked out colours and kinds, with no provided vases or ribbons and came up with what would work in my house, aesthetically and economically.  It is time we treat ourselves more often, and that includes buying ourselves, our wondrous selves, flowers. We spend money on all sorts of other  distractions, but what could be more lovely than flowers?