Women Needing Men

Nope. Women do not need men. They choose a man or men. As in the animal world, the ones who do the best dance or have the most colorful feathers are oft  chosen. Let us not be fooled by the moves or the feathers, however. Says a woman, I need a man of wealth. Men of wealth are wary men. The way they accumulate their wealth is to wield their powers and thus become rich. Of course some inherited it, but they are hardly men. They are usually tainted: ambitionless, spoiled and useless, unless they can prove themselves in the harsh world outside the walls of their golden domains.  The rich man will usually look upon his new lover or wife as another asset. She looks good on my arm, therefore, I will adorn her with trinkets to impress those who will further my riches. But playing the game of being an asset, is not an easy task ladies, no matter how many diamonds are encrusted in your diadem. You are a thing as a diadem, not a person. You smile, you perform, you assist in the world of assets. But perhaps you yearn to be a whole woman. Then there are those women who, not girted with an independent spirit, need protection. They want someone in white armour upon a white steed. A white horse, darling, is not the best choice in the horsey world and white armour rusts or soils in time. What you get on the white wedding day, may be much the same as  last year's car,  already showing tiny dents and scratches and in need of a touch up. And who wants an old car?  And then there are the good-looking males that some wish to capture. A word of caution. First, you have to rip them away from their full-length mirrors and reps at the gym, and while they appear pretty indeed, they are temporary, mirrors being made of glass and not steel, and muscles being  needful of hours of weights and lifts. Not to speak of hair stylists and tanning and daily joggings in the park. A sense of humor is a must, say other women. He must have a sense of humour. Honey, you may be the joke, in time, the butt of his sense of humour. In the end, you are the one who has to have the jumbo sense of humour when the show's over. He who laughs last is not you. So what is a girl to do? Does she speed date? Does she go on line? Does she hang out at the bar? We all have to live from day to day.  Daily life means all of the boring, trite, routine and dull matters to do with existence. There is rent or mortgage to pay, food to buy, house to clean, others to attend to, maybe some entertainment and routines that need attention and the job. That is what life is mostly all  about. Not the cute and romantic stuff, but just the ho and the hum. Eventually, we dreamers who think there is an ideal male out there, sift through the duds who come along with their tales of wealth and power, their macho cavalierisms and their charming jokes and you work through the morass and finally give it up. It's funny but somewhere out there is a guy just like you, looking for someone just like you, and not wanting to do all the fancy dancing required to achieve that goal. Just like you. You will  meet him somewhere, sometime. It just happens. So take heart, and go on and try and find some joy along the way. Take care of yourself. Be happy with yourself and be yourself.

Words Will Never Hurt Me

The saying "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a bunch of hooey. Words can hurt and destroy much as they have done throughout history. Think of  Hitler who rose to power using words to convince his rightists that his hatreds were correct and his theory of violence and dictatorship were the route to conquering the world. Fortunately, he didn't make it, but let's face it, he got awfully close. If you are courageous enough to read about the man, you will find that it was his words alone that convinced his followers. Other than living in squalor while a young man and working hard to become famous through his words, he did little on the battlefield latterly. And everyone heeded the words of Churchill, words that encouraged millions of people to carry on in spite of the painful hardships of war.  Kids today with  their ever-present  electronic weaponry,  do a pretty good job with words, too. Most of their communications are inane babblings but sometimes  their nasty escapades have caused hurt, destruction and even death.  It's all about words.  Words are not always negative, in fact, they can be angels of mercy and love. A letter to the dying, stating an appreciation of the effect of their lives on yours, a note to your kids or elders about the value of their presence in your life, a quick word to your boss or employee about what you like happening in the work place,  all make a positive jolt to someone's existence.  Letters, e mail or otherwise, enough of them, to your elected politicians will eventually make an impression especially if your words are backed up with a few facts or examples. The elected who got there mainly through the power of words, are there because of your votes  and/or those of your peers. Fair game, but only if you play. Don't complain over the fence, write it down and send it. Sometimes all it takes is one little word to either hurt someone indelibly or help them enormously. I had a boss once who made it a point to stick a post-it note on the glass of my office window. It was just a word or two about something he appreciated, even if it were only a smile. Those notes made my day and hopefully those of my students. Then again, someone can let slip a small word and it can hurt and be remembered for all your life. I recall when a young woman struggling to get a post-secondary education and I mentioned to a close respected relative what my eventual professional plan was he made a hasty retort that was mocking. I said nothing in return but  it took a long time before I could re-establish the confidence I needed to continue with my hard-earned education. I made it, but could never forget the remark. It made me realize how important words are. And then we have the joy of words as art. Poets and other writers' art  have an influence in our lives. I know no one who can't quote a beloved line or two written by a favorite author. Some use biblical verses written by those no longer remembered as their oars on the ocean of life. Yet others, simply enjoy making their own poetry as curatives for times of emotional crashes. Yes, words are much more powerful than we realize and using them, we need to consider their impact because sometimes, alas, they can and do backfire.

Kicking The Habit

One of the benefits of living alone, is the absence of annoying habits. Other than your own, of course. The latter are not noticed naturally and fortunately. Over the years, I have encountered various habits others have mentioned that are worth commenting on just in case you are one of the offenders and can make the world a happier place by JUST STOPPING IT! Road habits often foster annoyances and to avoid same, one must either pull over and calm down, or take another route. But when you are on the freeway, there is no relief.  One road irker is the slow driver. These people seem to enjoy being in the left or passing lane and making it their home. When you finally have a chance to get around them, they speed up and ride on your bumper. Another highway toothache is the driver who is giving a discourse to everyone in the car and flailing hands about while going first fast, then slow, according to the rhythm of the conversation. The bumper beetle is yet another problem when you are doing the speed everyone else in front of you is, and passing is not going to award him or her, a clear road ahead. Then you have the restaurant nuisance. The loud talkers enjoy eating establishments as their stages. This kind of orator feels the need to expound widely as much as a parliamentarian on Question Period day. You have to remind yourself that this kind will eventually have to put something into its mouth other than its foot. Alas, some can eat and talk all at the same time. All one is left with is to be grateful that  you are not forced to share a table with them. Added to the megaphone talker problem is the one who knows few other adjectives and/or interjections than the over-worked  word beginning with the sixth letter of the alphabet. Speaking of eating, the worst habit I have encountered ever, is the lunch bagster whom you must sit beside in the examination hall. During an exam that takes sweating hours at break-neck speed to complete all the essay answers, you don't want to be driven insane by his rattling lunch bag and loud chewing not to mention the  other worse associated digestive sounds. Giving this sort, glaring eyes doesn't work. I tried it on a blond macho hunk writing his basketball test, who looked back, cheeks stuffed, and said with his ham and cheese showing, "What?" Snoring is likely king of the sounds that causes marriage mayhem. Both men and women are guilty.  Men, however, have the upper hand or I should say, nose, when it comes to volume. I have heard of marriages coming to the breaking point over these night clarions. I am talking threats with iron frying pans here, not divorce break-up. Now I know why people have multiple bedrooms. Tapping fingernails, tooth sucking, eyebrow plucking, hair strand yanking, jiggling knees, knuckle cracking and throat clearings fall under the label of things you might miss but not too much when your mate disappears. One of my widow pals said wistfully, "Oh what I wouldn't give to hear that snore; I'd never complain again.'" The response sighing loudly, I gave her, "My dear, I couldn't disagree with you more."