Old Athletes? - Hmm

 This morning I listened to an enthusiast, not a senior, lauding the aged that are athletes. She went on saying in her young voice, that keeping "fit" was the way to fend off old age. Well, maybe. But I know that, no one other than a very few aged people beyond eighty are able to participate athletically, for various reasons.  Listening to those in their twenties and forties who "study" the aged and tell them what is best, makes me sad. The aging athletic experience, is simply not true statistically. A few are touted by the media as "all".  The "all you have to do is" crowd, cheerfully spout about old people and that it is a case of "use it or lose it". Well, I have news for them. The  true rendition is "lose it and find you can't use it".  The body rules in aging. No matter how you once could run or skip or jump, your body may come up with a "can't do that any more" issue. Also, many of us don't have access to easy and simple transportation to get to the pool to do the easy exercise classes in the water or sit in the hot tub with all the other very able lucky sorts.  It applies to other venues as well: bowling, golf, skating, hiking and so on. Getting there is half the problem. Taking public transportation lost its appeal long ago as reports of abuse of the elderly appeared. The best place is home for most of us. Yes, you do lose your physical capacities and that is factual. A few don't, but most do. There are however, exercises that are possible and good and easy ways to do them. Chair yoga may be a joke to some, but it is one way of enjoying using your body no matter how it fails you. It is true that you should move about as much as you can but if so, find your way to do so, that won't hurt you. I love to dance to music in my weird way every morning as I prep for the day. You don't need a lot of space to glide about using every joint and muscle as you move to music. And what about mental exercise? Some elders are super mental athletes. Try to beat them at Scrabble or chess or the daily crossword or even Wordle and you're on! Reading athletics is another sport that elders have the time and energy to excel in. These are truths.

Forced Into A "Home"

 You hear horror tales about families forcing their elders into a home. I haven't actually encountered it listening to other elders. Most of them admit that while they do not want to be in a "home", they have to be there. I am lucky to have a body that ages in a way that has not yet forced me to do so, but when it does, I will "go" with no complaints. Those who have an illness often are finally convinced that it is the best place for the care they need even though it is the hardest thing in their lives to do. Also families most of the time, love their elders but their lives simply do not allow them to give the kind of care needed to keep the elders in their own settings. All that said, there are other reasons that a "home" is the only route. One of them is transportation. I gave up driving not because I couldn't, but because I don't want to go on the roadways due to their pressures. For me, it's not only easier, it's much cheaper to taxi. For all other trips "out the door", I use my computer. It takes me shopping and travelling and communicating. Love it. One of the disadvantages is having to go out beyond what is an affordable taxi trip. My family doctor, for example, (I use the term loosely because I see him mostly through the telephone) is far away and costs me half a hundred dollars to see him for the alloted fifteen minutes. I use the Emergency Room Process if very necessary. Another big problem for those of us who rely on delivery, is getting a little card telling one to go  Pick Up the parcel. How do I get there? Cab? I have already paid for delivery and now I have to go and pick up the parcel? This is one game that I refuse to play. Send the dratted parcel back. I can reorder. Some outlets make sure you get your parcel, and those I adore. I can make arrangements with a human being at their establishments and not have to use a silly chat line that doesn't know what I am talking about, or to use a phone list of buttons to push that don't cover my situation. When an elder becomes so frustrated by all this, they decide on going to a home. That's what forces them, not their families or their health. 

Machy Matchy?

 Niccolo Machiavelli wrote a book called The Prince a couple of milleniums ago but its influence persists. In it, he describes his theory of a kind of person, The Prince, who lives for power. This kind of personality is going to do almost anything to obtain exactly what it wants to achieve and no one will stand in its way.  I'm not a psychology mavin, but the traits of this individual are something I've met in a few people. Is it a valid sort of judgement that they are Machiavellian. Is it fair to place it on anyone? Maybe not, but it does fit. I have come across a few very difficult people, especially working for them. What are their characteristics? They hunger to take all and be all the power in any and every situation.  And while seemingly competent and charming, their determination to defer what is kind and decent while pushing their own plans and goals without regard to anyone else's ideas or feelings is very real. Their devious behaviours and manipulations appear obvious, but no one dares defy them. It mystified me, but at least now, I have a name for it. Machiavellianism.  Some current world leaders must be Machy, if I may use that term. They do what they do with no compunction or human understanding. They have a goal and force it to be achieved. Even though people close to them, fear them, do as they are told while at the same having it eat into their consciences. They both admire and hate their own part in doing it, but continue to serve the Machiavellian individual. A firm "no" is too scary.  Remember the bully in high school, the one whom everyone avoided but who were flattered by a rare pleasant nod or personal comment of the bully? Even though there are discussions on how to live with bullying, it doesn't fix the bully. That's what bulls are. Stolid. Apparently, Machy people do not change. They simply appear in other scenarios going on and on disturbing everyone around them. The lesson, is to make distance from the modern day Prince or Princess Machys. If you have to work with them, say your piece in honesty and do your best your way. Good will win eventually, and Machys will move on to "bigger" things. 

Now And Then

 I am a Now, not a Then. When you are a widow of many years it's easy to slip back and think nothing but what was Then, and not what is Now. It's too hard to be a Then so I work hard at being a Now. Lots of Then people will not like this idea but hey, whether we like it or not, we are all a Now person. What was, was lovely and had lots of very important and meaninful scenes but they are gone and will never return. What we Now people live is in the Now, no more of the Then. How do I get through every day Now? I fight for it. I want to sit and remember the Now and how perfect it was being with someone close and meaningful every day, a someone who shared morning coffee and the crossword puzzle, whom he and I sat together with and had breakfasts and dinners with and who may have snored at night or fallen asleep when I wanted to watch movies and didn't like it or who smiled at me all the time or held my hand in the car and said nothing. Tha's all over and now, I am alone. I'm not into dating or trying to meet someone over coffee somewhere. I tried that once and found it terribly depressing. I am very old now and should as others, but dead, and anyone I might like to cuddle up with, knows it.  But, just like me, knows he can't. We are too much into the Then of time and not enough of the Now. Today, I am in the Now and here is where I am and where I have to be. I am not going to find someone romantic to stare at across a candle-lit table and dine on lobster. I would love to, but that is over. That is gone. Movies try to convince me and you,  that we can be young again and be attractive and wear chiffon and find someone who will suddenly want to be with us. No. That is not going to happen. For old women, there are no old men. They are very pleasant old men but old men and old women are no longer humans who fall in love. Some say they do, but really all they get it companionship. There is nothing wrong with companionship or elder marriage, but it does not truly take you back to being young again and in love. You can love,  but not be "in love". That  happens once. Ah, it is not a depressing place to be. We still, even though Now people, remember being a Then. And love the moment.