Know The Bad

In a relationship, the bad is sometimes what breaks people up. Anything painful is not good. Taking a second look at a broken up relationship, one must examine why it happened. Some simply move on and live with the scars. Often, a bad break-up continues into the next one, no one having learned from the first experience. We all have bad in us. Often times, we can't see it, but it is there, lurking. It could be that we are critical or demanding or possessive or have an annoying habit. And it's okay to have those things as our personal traits but when we share our lives with others, they need to work for someone else, too.  So, okay, you are perfect. That's good, but let's take a look at the other person in the relationship. What are their bads and what have you done about it. Maybe you have to change. Before any relationship, set down your rules to make it work and tell your partner what they are and what the consequences will be. For example, Rule Number One might be, no other romantic interests going on, "friendships", texting etc.  The consequences for breaking Rule Number One are "Poof. Over".  Stick to your rules and you win. Shilly shally and you lose. You need to win. Sure it's hard, but do it for your own sake. You need to have self-respect to survive and to move on to another relationship that is better. If you don't find another one, it's better to love yourself than stay with someone who doesn't. Saves a lot of agony. It may take time but you will more than likely end up the winner. In making up your rules, be sure that they are ones you can live with yourself. The fewer the rules, the easier and the better. In a relationship, there needs to be renewal. Passion has a habit of fading into something else and men are not as good at romance as women. There are exceptions of course. It is, therefore, the female part of things, to set the scene for romance. I hear long-married women say, we haven't made love for ages. That's bad. Next question is: and what have you done about it? Answer: find out how to get it back. And fast. There is a load of advice on the subject in magazines, on line, in groups. If you are too shy, remember how the romance began and do a re-run. It's never too late.