Greyed Expectations

When you get to a certain greyish stage in life, you can go two ways. You can grow "old" in the way it is portrayed by those not yet there, or you can do it "your way". The give-up route is to become an oldie goldie and wear baggie print dresses, walk in ugly shoes and let yourself go "natural". As one guy who left his grey-haired former to contact someone who looked far younger than her years, told me one day when I mentioned the word, Botox, "Oh no, I like my women "natural"". Didn't seem to stop his oogling the women who were "made up"! Natural? What does that mean? Does it mean, get up in the morning, wash and go? Does it mean no make-up or hair colour? Perhaps it means, look like my old grandmother. She was a sweet old lady who wore an apron and clumpy black shoes. Grandmothers come in many variations. Some let themselves go and others take the time to enhance their remaining attributes. I don't mean hours on the treadmill or painful yoga classes. I mean simply adding some colour here and there, dressing  in something that bespeaks other than yesteryear and avoiding whining about surgeries and family problems. In other words think outside the box: the shiny wooden one with the brass handles. Become informed about something other than personal health issues. Watch or listen to current events. You don't have to moan about the world's problems you saw on the eleven o'clock news, but  you should be aware of those headlines so that you can sound brilliant when you ask, "What are your thoughts on ...?" I suppose older men have the same challenges: leaving the saggy-seat pants behind, throwing away the old man sweater cardigans and the big ugly runners and not talking about the knee or hip replacements they've had. Then again, some elderly really love sinking into old age like an old slipper. But who likes looking at an old slipper, I ask? Many elderly are lonely. It seems to be the greatest complaint of any age but, especially, the elderly. There are men and women who dearly want to hook up with, not marry, some members of the opposite sex without having to join the tiddly-winks club at the nearest Senior Centre. There are some Senior ( I really do not like that word) Centres that have programs to accommodate singles for dancing and lunches. One that I saw recently worded their programs positively and freshly. They avoided "relax amongst", "share family memories with" and "gentle joint stretches". If the place was not labelled Senior Centre I might have gone along. Senior means seasoned or old, no mistake about it, and when you have to live with a seasoned or old  body and visage, you don't need to enter a building that shouts it. If these places were called "clubs" with a sign such as the name of the community or town or city, it might be more appealing to those of us who avoid Senior Centres. Even when we are ninety, we invariably hope to say, " But, I'm not ready for that yet!"