Oof!

Oof! That's how it must feel to get a solid blow in the middle of one's middle. Sometimes you say something not intended to inflame someone else, and their reaction is sudden and hard just like an "oof". There isn't a soul who can say this hasn't happened to him or her self. You can't always go around with a filter or a gag on your mouth.  Worse still is when you tell someone how badly you feel about it, and they respond that you shouldn't have said what you did: oof and ouch! Now you have two counts against you. But it's one of life's lessons. First, try to forgive yourself for the first offense in saying something with a double meaning, and second, forget about looking around for sympathetic support. You won't get it. You're on your own. When it happened to me the other day, not only did I lose one friend, but later, two. Not that they were close friends. My close friends are not that vulnerable, thank goodness. One of the big disadvantages of modern communications systems is that they are immediate and instantly accessible and furthermore, they don't, so far, offer the advantage of tone. When you speak, you put variations in tone that affect the meaning of your chat. They are not possible to put into the symbols that are written words. The sender makes an assumption that his/her message will convey as it is intended. And often, that may not happen. Written language can be toned to have many meanings. This is what can get us into trouble. They send, we receive. They mean it one way and we receive it thinking it means, another.  Simple as that. And yet very complicated. So how do we avoid the horrible accident of someone de-friending another because of a message miss-taken? Best way, is to ask what is meant. Easy? Not always because at times, it means dropping one's pride simply to ask. You know what I mean if ever you've had to do it. "Do you mean..."  "Are you saying..." " Am I to understand that you..." To ask these is  self-deprecating in a way. The solution?Better say nothing at all and wait until the sender thinks "Why are they not answering?" and reviews what was texted and then does the asking. Might work. Best is to speak to each other. Texting is limiting - and can be "dangerous".