Memorials Not Good-byes

There are too many memorials to go to these days. Aging does that. In some ways, you become used to saying these sorts of farewells even though you don't like the idea of doing it. Most of us don't look forward to the celebration of life or memorial date, but we don our blacks and off we go. Entering the doorway is daunting. We gird up on our courage, and go inside. Immediately, we see people we know, and suddenly, it all feels right. We greet warmly and shake hands and yes, laugh over old times, and maybe wipe away a tear or two that escapes. But we all know why we are there, and somehow, we welcome the joy of being with others who feel the same way that we do. Usually armed with a mug of tea or something stronger, we take our places and are treated to either, or both, talks and pictures of the person now gone, and certainly, tales. The stories are amusing and often revealing. We share. We truly do "share"( a much over-used term, but one that fits perfectly) at a good celebratory memorial. Seeing the pictured face of the one we once knew, makes us smile and recall the private memories we have had. Everyone has their own personal moments to recall, that are theirs alone, and special. We hold these secretly close in our hearts. There are speeches and funny tales and tributes, and in it all, we learn things that we didn't know about this person we thought we knew so well. We are surprised and grateful to enrich, yet again to further our lives, with this new knowledge. We feel that somehow all the dead of yore, are with us, having been called to take part in the event. Those who speak actually do address the individual who is being honored at the celebration of life. The sharer looks up, and smiles and talks to who is gone, as though they lived. And somehow they seem to live. How close to life is death! And later, refreshments  are taken about the room, the memorabilia seen, both real and virtual. Those we have not seen for a long time are back again to celebrate this special life, and we feel that we are re-connected as recollections are traded. The old times have caught up and it's okay to revel in the review of them. Good memories and a few not-so-great, are disinterred and there is laughter and chuckling and even a few snickers, but it's all in memory of someone who mattered very much in our lives. We feel that the departed has somehow come along kindly to keep us all together in his/her memory, and that death in this way, is conquerable.