Being Mother

Motherhood is something you can't study for. It just is. Holding life within your body is unique enough, but when you actually see the tiny human surprise that comes forth, it's a mystifying experience. You look into those brand new eyes looking back at you, and you know what you have to do. You instantly dedicate your entire life to that small, unfinished person warm in your arms. You know that from that moment on you are going to enter into the most important work your body was made for, regardless of any other theories abounding.  You are, and will be needed for the rest of that small creature's lifetime. And being needed is a great gift. It gives back. While it's a huge responsibility to rear a child and the years of nurturing and guiding lie ahead, for a moment, you doubt that you can do it. But mothers have a natural talent and knowledge built into their psyches. Father's too, if they allow themselves this great joy. But, like any other important work, there is labour involved, even though the most important need is giving of yourself wholeheartedly. You may not have all the resources you want, to be a good parent, but there is one only vital ingredient. One must-have. It's not the latest educational toys, the organic foods, the perfect school, the ideal nanny, the money or the pretty house or even a mate: it's love. Lots and lots of love, and letting that little one know it constantly. It's being there, and being open to its needs, standing by it when all else seems to fail it. It draws strength to grow and develop to be whole, knowing you are there loving it, no matter what. In that child's life to come, there are going to be times when it needs you desperately or maybe not at all, but you are still there, still loving it. It's a quiet matter, motherhood, parenthood,  and there are hurts and sorrows and joys and endless memories to have when your child reaches maturity. It's then that you learn about who you are. Through the memories your child tells, you learn what you didn't know about yourself as a mother. Fathers, too. You, also, can share with that man or woman you birthed, and who is now grown up, tales of their growing years to enrich their lives with your "take". Mothers who have had to give up their babies at birth, are also loved always by that child that was given from them. How difficult that is. And often unselfish, but the truth is that your birth child will come back to find you. While these children  dearly love their chosen-mothers, they need to find the flesh and blood ones who gave them birth, all the while knowing not to hurt either sharing woman. And the birth mother, whether she is able to take the same steps or not to welcome once again, what she bore, she will love that child forever in her heart. It's complicated matter being a mother, but it's the greatest natural joy there is.