Secret Life of a Widow

A widow is envisioned as someone who sits in a corner wearing black from head to toe, weeping and groaning about how she misses her past life. She is seen to be quite helpless and mostly dependent. Often times, some think she must be visited and sympathized with frequently. She's the one poor soul, pitied when it comes to finances or home handy work. All of that nonsense can be tossed. A widow, or as I like to be called, a single, is simply a female without a man but with marriage experience. That's about it. Grieving is an option, but in my book, it's a waste, a waste of time and very good memories that should be valued and trotted out when you need a positive boost. Being a widow, and I have to say, I don't like the term any more than I did "married", "hitched" or "partnered", has no more dark moments than the life of anyone else. There are things to be done that some widows have to re-learn since half of their relationship who may have done them, is no longer present. There are many things to re-learn since you started out, perhaps decades before, as a bride, but you did them before you were wed, and you can do them again. Sure, the world has changed, but only from a technical point and that's not impossible to learn. Don't make the mistake of falling into the arms of your kids. They have their own lives to get on with. The first thing about getting into the technical world is to know that while all the terminology seems foreign, it isn't. And there is nothing hard about it. Believe me it is a state of mind that you have to conquer first, and if you could rear children, you can certainly enter the tech world easily. Open your mind and you're in. It's a lot easier to do your business on line that scrabbling around with a pencil on the dining room table. Your kids or grandkids will teach you in a jiff. The shift from having a partner who did half of the family activity takes a bit of time and a lot of patience, but it can be done. I didn't know how to fill the gas tank of my car because my Prince hopped out and did all that for me. Now, I can pop the hood and talk to my car service man with a tone of an owner, and he or she had better not try and talk me into what I do not need. But I speak with politeness and patience. It gains respect. When I am patronized, I side-step it and stick to the business at hand without sighs of helplessness and giggles of the mindless. I am not a toughie and never want to be, but I have learned that I own the same piece of sidewalk that everyone else has and that if I want to survive as a whole human being, I have to get out there and trot. Being an older widow alone, means protecting yourself by learning all of the safety features and knowledge about being alone and female. It's not hard and when you have done it for awhile, you can look at your successful self in the mirror and smile. You've come a long way lady!