Pride Hurts

I hear often, " I am never going to speak to that person again" or others who say, "I haven't spoken to that person for years and I don't care" and none of the voices are happy about it. Not truly happy. Evidently, it bothers them enough to talk about it. One of the tales I heard, was a woman who was angry that her father had given her brothers funding for university education, but not to her. She stopped seeing her father for the rest of his life. She looked devastated  when she told me that she didn't regret going to him when he was dying as he had asked. I could see that she grieved. It was too late for her to fix it, therefore, she had a burden to carry for the rest of her life. I did a hiatus once that lasted  twenty-five years and it was seldom out of my mind, all that time. There were good reasons why the silence went on, but the idea that a wall had been built that got higher and harder, year by year, was worse. It didn't mean that we would resolve anything by saying hello, it just meant that we could end the impossible silence. I waited until a special event came along, one that we were both attending. I decided that enough was enough. I approached and said hello, how are you? The person reached out and took my hand. I will never forget how that hand felt at that moment. It was all over. A simple hello and a couple of other polite words, made the wall we created, fall down into the dust it was. No one had to resolve anything. It was just a simple gesture, but it meant so much. We didn't have to play the foolish game of not speaking any more, and it was more important than what actually caused it.  Our pride is why we do these things, just like in the old Get Up And Shut The Door tale. "Shutting the door" is so easy, but we hold off in pride, and it only becomes harder and harder to do the more we leave it undone. Pride is really fear, fear of our egos being threatened. But logic says that if we are strong enough to deny ourselves when we hold back with pride, we are just as strong enough to overcome it. There are so many things held back by pride. Think of all the jobs or positions denied because  pride made one feel they might be embarrassed by being inadequate in the position and thus didn't try for it.  Recall, the times we wanted to join a group or get up and speak our minds, but  pride denied us the courage. We tell about it with "I wish I had done that because I know I could have".  Lovers shy from taking a chance on meeting the person they want to be with, by fearing to approach them. Accepting rejection is part of life. It makes us stronger. If we don't give  something a try, how do we know it won't work for us? To break out of our fears of being what we are or want to do, by cowering away from it, is unhealthy and can wear us down, causing depression and stress. How do we put aside our pride? A clear plan works. We bravely consider the options and  what will happen when we go ahead with our plan. The aim is to unburden ourselves, and that's not a bad thing or an impossible one. It is a right to take the step to free oneself of pride, but it means also accepting the consequences, good or bad. Being confident knowing that we are strong enough to withstand whatever the outcome is, means victory over pride, and that victory can set us free.