Between The Lines

Today in my professional magazine for retirees, I read an article by a doctor concerned with geriatrics. She cited in each of the pertinent paragraphs, statistics on the matter of retirees getting out and about and how healthy it is. She said that doing so denies the depressions occurring with aging and that it even fends off illnesses. Each of the statistics she quoted did not seem to include me. While I am not agoraphobic, I am also not a gadder. My mother was and my sister was and so were most of my female relatives save a few. The gadders went out almost every day, had vast numbers of  friends they visited frequently and were intensely involved in groups that had regular meetings and events. When I saw them, they spoke of how much they enjoyed their jobs, jaunts and jollities. Not once, did I, a stayathome, feel badly when they recounted their craft sessions, card games and tea times. I was happy for them but never did I want to join them or aspire to their lifestyles. When I was a wife, it was most delightful to do travel, socializing and nature exploring with my spouse but most of the time we both preferred our happy home times. It was fun to go out, but nicer to be at home. We saw our friends at times but not steadily. When we saw them or had them over, we very much enjoyed their company. It was the same with community activities. We participated more when we were younger but the older we became and those we loved died or moved away, the circle grew smaller. Never did it make us feel lonely or sad or bored. We liked reading and using the computer. As a widow, a term I dislike because it defines women in terms of loss, I missed my former spouse but I also came to discover the me that is me and not a half of a marriage. It made me appreciate all the more the man I spent much of my life with, but in terms of his own true self also. What I did not appreciate about the article is that it stated that if you don't join organizations, get out and exercise almost every day or socialize a good deal, you are not going to live as long. Well, excuse me, doctor, I must be one of the souls who slipped between the numbers. I love being in my home and doing such as reading, sewing, computer use and yes, watching television and listening to music and I remain in better health than most of my contemporaries. Some of my neighbours with dogs and a ton of friends,  say to me regularly with a concerned knitting of brow, "I never see you." I thought of many responses to that observance other than the mind-your-own-affairs choice,  but I would answer politely, "We must get together sometime." Many of them had little yappy dogs that needed to go out on the lawns numbers of times a day when they didn't use the carpet surreptitiously. Their card games and club meetings I found latterly, boring and repetitive and at times, vicious. Being at home was far more interesting than listening to agendas, political and religious discussion and putting up with some folk intent upon winning rather than play a game. When I do visit or go to a meeting of choice now, or out to an event or play a game, I enjoy it immensely. It feels special. I am never depressed or bored or restless. Guess, happily, I fit between the lines.