Party Lesson

Having very recently suffered an obligation party, I learned a party lesson. Don't go unless you have a personal reason to. The food was wonderful and the company elegant but the so-called party lacked planning and was thus, to me, a disaster. I stayed a short time and spoke to a few of the guests, all of whom, I sensed, felt the way I did. We had to be there. But I, being at the age and stage of doing nothing I am not enjoying, time being the issue,  I thanked the hostess quietly and angled my way out the door after half an hour of trying hard. I don't think anyone noticed and I have no intention of asking. It wasn't being rude I am certain, but just in case, next time I will think before entering. When I arrived home from the so-called party I felt greatly relieved. I made the right decision. It was sad because it could have been enjoyable. What went wrong took some time to determine. The party had problems. First, there was no focus to the event even though the festive season seemed the most obvious one. It's too easy to have a celebration on one word: the holiday word solely. Some kind of extra reason must be thought up. When people arrive they need to find a place to go after the initial greeting. It could be the table of goodies or one with photographs and souvenirs or a fireplace or somewhere to gather. For one thing, it gives singles a place to head toward and perhaps connect with others of their ilk. When you are a single, be it a widow, a divorcee or an unattached, it's different than being part of a couple. When you're half a couple, there is someone to talk to and sit beside. When you're single, it's like being in a canoe with no paddle, and don't give me the eyeballs to the ceiling; I am no social butterfly who can make up a ho-ho with anyone or use false flattery or pluck out a line from mid-air to get a chat going. The second need for parties, is having a lot of bumping going on. Standing is a must. If you must have chairs, do not line them up along the walls. This disaster I attended  did so and when you sat, you had only one person at the side to speak with. They were heavy chairs so they could not easily be formed into friendly sets. The third must for a party is to have an active host. That person needs to be aware of what's happening in the group and to act as a catalyst to fix it if needed. Subtly, they can  keep things going, seeing that mingling is going on, seeing  that there is no lagging of the event's pace. Also, the party needs the host to direct the event: give it some kind of indication for the general times to partake of the food or special drink or toasts, to open and close the event and to make sure that things are moving. It doesn't always just happen on its own. A party is like a good stew that needs stirring. The final party rule is to have music somewhere. It doesn't have to be ear-splitting or specific to any style unless you know everyone wants it. Music adds a sweet tone to the evening giving something to comment on or somehow blend it all together. Next year when this party is announced, I might dress up for it but wait until it is underway and then, take a peek in the door. If those miserable chairs are in dining table formation again, I am going out somewhere else, sequins and all.