Child Experts

There are new ideas on how to rear children, yes, "rear" not "raise" which is what you do with farm animals. The how-tos advise how to make perfect children in a perfect family. In truth, it's how the parents want their kids to be, not what the kids want.  Children really don't care much about being perfect. They like to play at whatever interests them. To a child, no matter if that child is challenged or genius or autistic or whatever term we label the kid with, to them, everything is perfectly natural and okay. We parents and other adults are those who attach labels. If there is a problem, we call in the experts. The children trust in us but are seldom asked their needs. Children need one basic to be happy and that is Love. Love is having everything in their environment that is open and safe and  fun. After thirty years in the education business with all children from five to eighteen plus and from all "walks of life", I learned a few things that don't make me an expert with a lot of letters after my name, but I am enlightened by what the children taught me. Most families consider themselves loving and caring and they mean well. Teachers are sworn to secrecy about their charges' privacy through a signed legal ethics code. Family secrets are safe. Experienced classroom teachers know a lot about families and children and many other school matters than those outlined in the curriculum. They are "experts" with on-the-job-training. They aren't perfect either but they try.  In my years, I recall many scenarios that made me feel disturbed. These unfortunate situations happen in schools pass, but remain forever in the minds of all retired educators. In teacher magazines teachers write about teaching in various places and  their humorous times, but few speak of "the bottom line". The down sides and the tragedies. They are also part of the teaching life. Parental pressure is a signficant aspect in the child pushed to "perfection". Talented kids are often driven to stresses by  parents who want results. If their child doesn't win a game or score the most points or get the highest marks in what they do, they will suffer. Expectations are sometimes bizarre. One little girl of nine in Grade Three, was always dressed in very adult provocative garments including tiny high heels. Her mother taught her how to flirt.  Another young lady in high school was made to dress in little girl frilly frocks, accessories and hair styles that her actor parents thought would get her roles as a much younger child.  A nine year old boy with brothers who were adults came to the classroom with drawings and cartoons that his home siblings thought were going to create some negative "fun". That was stopped short. Sometimes, tee shirts with very unacceptable pictures and language appear and parents are brought in for discussion. Poverty exists. In a city lower economic location, a small girl complained about how cold she was coming to school in the snow. Her shoes had no soles. One child came daily with  paper bags of popcorn that his struggling single mother told him to trade with other children for a better lunch. The health department helped out. A little boy with divorced parents whose agreement gave mother the girl and father, the boy would see his other parent appear at my classroom door weeping and pleading. A small boy who was taunted and beaten by his dad's new family sons, often entered the room and curled up in a tight ball on the carpet. These are but a few of the dark moments in teaching. Things teachers cannot tell.  Experts come in with their degrees and advice and solutions, but the classroom teacher and assistants are the "first responders". They are our "experts".