Bumps In The Night

It's a well guarded secret that there are "bumps" in the night. Living with a snorer is a big "bump" in a relationship. Most find a way to overcome sleep interruptions that happen when this physical phenomenon occurs. In elder age or before, both men and women for various reasons, develop the problem of snoring or, on the other side of the bed, having to put up with it.  Most snorers deny that they, in fact, do it, but their sleep mates disagree vehemently. Losing sleep can drive the non-snorer to a state close to dangerous lengths such as whumpings, kickings, shakings, shoutings or finally, abandonment out of sheer desperation. One needs sleep. It is a right. Sleep disturbed by the noises made by bedmates is no joking matter and most of the time it ends up with separate bedrooms. Barking dogs, traffic squealings or construction racket, is no match for the dire stress of hearing, night after night, the din emitted by a formerly dear nose making it only inches away. I have heard widows moan that they recall their lost loved one's snores and how they wish they were back because they would just adore hearing those darling noises once again. I don't believe them. Supposedly, there are cures for this situation, but most of the time, the guilty party either refuses to go to such lengths which are often minor surgical ones or dietary regimes, and after trying the less drastic solutions that don't work, give up entirely and trot down the hall to the guest room forever. There is no love of snorers. If you don't have Snore in your own life, you may have been in a hotel or plane or hospital or dormitory where this horror exists and been kept awake by it. Or maybe unwittingly, you are the enemy, the "bump" in the night. My mother constantly went on and on about my stepfather's "musical evenings" and how impossible they were, and that they robbed her of her sleep. When the two of them stayed at our house, we learned that her "music" far outdid his. When gently I hinted at it, she was outraged, and you didn't want to outrage my mother. Fortunately, changing the subject saved the day. Her nights were something else. Sometimes kits are provided on airplanes or sleeping cars that contain ear plugs for the purpose of getting a good night's sleep in spite of the snorers in semi-public venues. They are not a solution. Snoring seems to defy walls or fences or ear plugs. When my neighbours who live above, make floor thump noises, I have tried earbuds and my cell phone for movies or music, and these do help but only to distract,  not entirely, dull sounds. The subject of snoring is seldom cited as cause for divorce, mayhem or murder, but it must come close.