The Bra

Normally, bras are a socially impolite subject, but bras are a fact of life and everyone who wears them, knows it.  There have been versions of the bra since ancient times, but with forms unlike the nineteen thirties that gave us today's precursor. Bras of yore, came in the form of bands or corsets and were designed for various purposes. They were made to help, but as women of the day discovered, few did. Fashion had bosoms flattened or projected as purposes dictated and apparently still does. Just ask the jesting Madonnas or the Lady Ga Gas. As today, bras enhance, expose, detract, replace, uphold  or simply look pretty for whatever purpose one desires. Most wearers, however, seek first, comfort, a bra that feels invisible while doing whatever job is needed. Unfortunately, and I wish bra makers were listening, there are few women who can find the perfect bra. What women want ultimately, is fit that works for them alone. And bra makers don't appear to be listening. Finding something in one's size is complex. The bosom is not hip, waist or hem measurement that can be easily adjusted. Bra size is static. When  you purchase this small piece of fabric, often with bits of plastic or metal installed,  you want something personally designed to your specific self. It's very complicated and insists on global measurements that even producers, designers, engineers and physicists try desperately to fathom. We the seekers of the perfect bra, are ecstatic when we  find exactly the right size. "Dream on" are my words for it. If you've been lucky and found your ideal size, you are  unlikely to find it again. Sorry.  Perhaps you have taken notes on The One that fits, and months later, notepaper in hand, you are off smugly thinking that you will find, "your" bra. The new "improved" ones have emerged. Seldom does "new and improved" do what it says. Often, the fabric is different, the size updated, the price hiked, the colours refreshed or the company unavailable. Once again, you prowl the aisles of the underwear department with its tons of dangling lacy things, only to find that you are defeated. The old tried and true is not there. Even online. After hours of searching, you just might find something acceptable, but it's a struggle. Bras are expensive especially if you are particular about fit and fabric. Finding a good fit often involves a lady bra fitter who will astound you after a fitting akin to medical parameters, with a size you never dreamed of and will dislike the sound of.  In my experience, I wouldn't wear what the lady recommends mostly because it looks like a space suit, and secondly it costs a fortune. I end up once again plying the aisles of my favorite department store. And then comes the insanity of a modern bra. Why does it fasten in the back? This piece  of misogyny must have originated with the makers of the Iron Maiden. Another feature that mystifies me is the  strap that falls. Why not cross the back straps over like a bathing suit? And let's not even begin on the strapless bra that can turn a very nice women into a raging torment in the club women's bathroom, as she tugs the thing skyward only to know it is going south as soon as she leaves. Ah, bra!