Book Club Blues

 My book club is important to me, but like every organization one belongs to, changes take place. As new members enter or leave, it's natural. So far, we have been able to keep it going and doing very well. We are all satisfied with how it's working. We don't use one book together, but bring to our gatherings, what we have read and that which impresses us enough to talk about it with others. Since we all have specific tastes, members of our six or so, enjoy learning from each others' choices, about a book or author,  that we would like to try. But also, as in any other book club, some of the routines we made in the past, are either escalating or declining and the time has come to discuss them. I am going to avoid being specific to our own book club, but most of what happens, does so in all of them that are long-running. When you have six personalities, you have six egos and six needs and six histories and six hopes and six tastes. Well, six everythings. That's what makes it interesting. In our book club, we live or lived, in the same condo building, and our ages and situations are somewhat similar. This is good and not so good. The good part, is that if we have a glass of wine, we don't need to drive anywhere to get to book club. It's just up or down the elevator and/or hallway. Although we live in the same building, we aren't too close personally, so that when we go to book club, we still learn something new about our fellows. But, since we all live under the same basic roof, we are inclined occasionally to talk about "what's going on in this place" and that is not a good idea to get into. Fortunately in our group, we aren't afflicted with a dominating person who wants only to talk about itself or attempts to determine what we should and should not read or do. That would make life difficult!  What does need changing, and what often happens in a close group such as ours, is sometimes dwelling too much into personal matters of  individuals. Of course, we have empathy for each other and our situations, but it's something that needs control. We often digress for too long.  If it becomes  too personal or time-consuming,  it can overshadow the true purpose of the book club. We are there about books and reading. Number One. In some groups, I have heard, there are individuals with strong egos who dominate the group irresistibly and wield power in such a way,  that it is hard to control. Everyone wants to be "nice". But the democratic process rules. When situations arise, hopefully, book club members will be open and frank but respectful  enough to discuss problems and how to solve them, in a peaceful, understanding and generous atmosphere. When a book club strays from its original purpose, it takes courage for the group to bring it back to be what it needs to be. Problems that can sink a book club might be  gossip pits , deep therapy sessions, individual ego shows, over elaborate food and décor opportunities and others.  Any matter than causes the group or a host, stress is unfair.  Book clubs are wise to assess from time to time, where they stand, and how to make changes that will work.  Only then, can we readers, continue saying, long live our book club.