Find Your Happy

 Holiday season is approaching and for some, it's a sigh and not a happy one. Why? For some it's a sad time due to loss. Loss is funny. Instead of distracting ourselves, we often enshrine our loss. Most of our "unhappy" is self inflicted. When someone says "oh, move on" or "hey, drop it" or " aw, forget it" , we can't. Sounds easy, but isn't. Finding a new happy is the answer. It's out there waiting; it's just a matter of finding it and that begins with looking. What stands in the way of happy, is often what others think it is for us. No one knows our personal happy, but us alone. For me, it's the social season. I love the colour, the stories, the joy. Not a party person, I like my people one at a time. When party time rolls around, I shudder. A party is where no one seems their real self. The dress, the location, the food, it's all for me, difficult. Some love it. Family parties are best because you can't fool your genetic pool.  Another example of fun, not fun, is mom who spends her pre-holiday weeks preparing for everyone else and telling everyone that she or he is delighted to do it all even though they collapse when it's over until next year. That can change with the short word, no. Then, there's the currently overworked purse where expenses of the holiday are a huge hurdle. Putting the traditional turkey that now costs almost as much as the entire grocery bill, into the oven, doesn't have to happen. It's not all about turkey. Feasting menus can change.  Travelling also, to that far away beach or fantasy land, is not essential to finding happy. Some families might pool ideas on how staying home can be fun. Togetherness is laughing together. One family started a tradition of reading to each other along with nice snacks and no screens. For your elders, go visit. That is their gold. We once spent our Christmas eve driving an aunt into the neighbourhood to see the lights. She was overwhelmed with joy. Her happiness was a best gift to us. Discount what stores say is  most popular to buy. For them, maybe. Gifts are your decision, not theirs. You know what's best for your people. Buying presents could be changed from items made of plastics and electronics, to non-perishable edibles. They are luxuries we don't buy for ourselves.  Costly decking out the house can change, too. Go simple and make it less demanding on the earth. It's up to your happy. What the neighbours do is their happy. Last, if you have no one and nothing, there is still happy for you, too. It's there and waiting. You'll know it when you find it.