The Art Of Mistake

 There's something compelling about being old. I mean very old and seeing the end of the trail not far off. If you're lucky enough, and it is just luck, to still have an active and curious brain, you see human follies and have the wisdom to keep them mostly to yourself. But it is impossible not to have some elderly philosophy leak out. One gem to pass on, is the art of loving mistakes. The most important thing you can do in life is make mistakes. Freedom to make your own mistakes and learn by fixing them, is seldom accepted by today's hovering parents. Parents don't ever seem to know exactly where the line is  when kids are ready to say "enough, I think I know what I am doing, let me make my own  mistakes but just be there to support me when I do, please". Parents, please don't even think, "I told you so". It's the worst way to lose your child's life friendship. And you can be your offspring's friend for life. It takes backing off and knowing when to. Having just lost my only child and adult son, I can see in the span of his lifetime, the mistakes I made. There weren't too many, because before dying, he told me that I was his best friend. Could be, that I allowed my young child the freedom to be responsible for his own mistakes. It wasn't easy. An example was when the Grade Eleven Algebra  teacher called me and wailed about his not doing the twenty algebra questions a day exercise she felt, in her ridiculous way, was "teaching" her students a "discipline". She didn't have the vision to show, not teach, her students, that mathematics is one of the wonders of Man's discoveries that should fascinate us, not have it ground into our heads as a "discipline". Discipline is a form of punishment. Math is a miraculous and beautiful tool found in nature and learned by Man.  In fact all schooling should be presented by teachers, not shoved into heads and given marks if students don't remember every word they were "taught". Marks are the worst invention ever perpetrated by something called Education. We have lost some of our best brains by turning them away with this marks silliness.  Every time a child makes a mistake, it's cause for them to correct and then receive a handshake by the teacher, for true learning.  Marks. How is that a system Education folk thought would work as a learning tool? It's a punishment/reward system, not teaching. When  young adults, go on in life, and do wrong things and make the mistakes like once they did while, on their own, learning how to walk upright, and gain from the fall, that's self education.  Parents should shut up more often and let their kids' mistakes happen. There are lethal mistakes that can happen sadly, but parents are needed even more, in their job. Parental arts don't seem to be very smart these days. Hovering helicopter parents who see their kids as an asset, an example of their own success, could cause mistakes to happen in their children by not allowing mistakes to happen. Nor do many modern parents have the guts to say one word, "NO". You don't need nagging, or a stick or a lock, but you can express yourself clearly in one short term. NO is powerful.  Kids need their parents to love them and most of the time, hearing a sincere NO is enough. The rest is up to the forming adult to deal with their own issues and if their mistakes are too huge, all a parent can do is to be there to love and support and stand up for their child. If you turn your back, or scold, you are the mistake.