Annual Family Day

 A holiday Monday called Family Day gives a time to think about family and what it means when families are scattered and far off, some not speaking to each other, some very close, some that are gangs, some struggling to be family, some, a family breaking apart and so forth. Family has so many meanings. What makes a family is usually somewhere along the way, children. On Family Day, there are those who respect the title and take time to be with their family or families if they are the extended kind. The may go out or stay in to dinner, perhaps go to an event or take in the sights somewhere lovely and have a picnic. There are others who mourn the loss of family, either as members or a single person and yet others who may be elderly and have no family other than in memory. Some families are large and revel in getting together, others are small and try to meet and tell family tales. Children need a family, no matter in what state. For nine months they have been very close to their mothers and when they emerge into the world, have a natural need to belong and be close. No "professional" needs to tell us that fact. A baby is held and cared for by a family, in a family and its needs become a pattern for its life ahead. What the family does and shows,  becomes part of the child's style. It's a style for its life plan, one that is engrained by what it sees and feels and receives as it is formed in the early years and what it most wants, is being close to someone who loves them. A forming child doesn't need fashionable items, the most recommended toys and activities to make them brilliant, the best house or furniture or pills taken daily to make all the adults around them happy or going to zoos or parks or playing sports or anything called the "best". Small children don't know what "best" is other than feeling secure that there is someone who is always there for them. The gift they love most is YOU. They don't want your monetary benefits, they want YOU. Being you, and there all the time, is, these days, a luxury. Parents are often wrapped up in work and say that they have to work so that they can provide the "best" for their kids. Best again? Best what? A hug, soft words, cuddles, listening aptly, tucking in, reading to, soothing hurts, understand behaviours that are telling you something, standing up for them, feeding them happy food, not expecting them to ace tests at school, being a happy family, and talking with them not at them and being there all the time, is best.  All these are the "best". Money making for a house, nice trips to some flashy neon park or tropical beach, owning elaborate toys and games, or the latest electronics, shopping for braggible clothes or sport clubs or birthday parties are not "the best". They are temporary moments that adults like to think are best. They want their child to be perfect. They already are. They are your children. That's the best.  You are their best when you are with them and the more "best" of that kind, makes the "best" kid.