Grief Riders

 Grief riders are not the professional ones with their radio and podcast "shows" who go on and on about the troubles of other people and are paid to do it. No. I speak of those around me, who seem to have nothing else to do in a positive vein but ride on the troubles of others. They belong to what I call the Eyore Camp or the Grief Riders. The other day, an old friend of mine, ranted on and on about a friend of his whom I met just once, and his friend's problems. I listened but honestly, if I had a cell phone, something I am beginning to abhor, I would have said, "Oh, I have to take this". By the time he finished the long and sad tale, and it was, in fact sad, I thought I, too, had suffered the same horrific event. His unfortunate associate, had a death in the family of an elder who had been ill for some time and  died. The aftermath was that the deceased elder's mate who then became ill seriously and was in a facility suffering the wiles of his illness and the place he had to be housed in out of mental and physical necessity. While the tale drizzled on, I, perhaps unkindly but out of exhaustion wanted it to please end. I thought to myself "Well, why don't you, the friend, do something about it or shut up if you can't because you are dragging me down and I don't like it." I know it would too unkind to do so, but the reality was that spreading this kind of problem to everyone you meet doesn't help anyone including the teller or as I call them, the Grief Riders. They love to cling to these events because it makes them the bearer of bad news and in what they think is, a way to be popular because we all love bed news?   Someone else's problems are theirs, not ours. Once you listen to the bad news of others, you feel you must let it go because riding on that kind of chat only drags everyone down. So how do you fix it?  Changing the subject carefully away from the dark side toward a lighter one might help. Changing the venue such as moving into another space to listen, or a different place could also divert the subject. Doing something different such as making a cup of coffee or tea or offering some kind of distraction could help. Cake is good or like an old friend of mine, now gone, who used to keep a little package of fruit lozenges and would slip them out of her pocket and point it your way is another idea. If you pop a sweet candy into your mouth, everything goes sweet. And for those who don't sugar up, there are sweet tasting ones with no sugar. The media appears to do only the negatives but they are for the people I speak of, the Grief Riders who feast on them. When they stop you to chat, out comes their collection of the Did You Hear About. There is so much bad news every day in the media no matter in what way you take it, so there should be no end of topics you have to suffer through when you are delayed by a Grief Rider.  Those who charge people like me with being Pollyanna's can go trot. I like being a Pollyanna, a lot. Reason is, I refuse to wade through my life in muck. I am going to find the high road; I am going to see the blue of the sky, not rain. I want to be happy. For sure I will donate, I will listen, I will feel,  but I won't stay down if a downer you are. Fixes for most of them are "no thanks", "bye bye" and "Sorry, I have to take this call."