Seeing Ourselves

George Bernard Shaw once spoke about the advantages of seeing ourselves as "ithers see us". What he was really referring to was the advantage of a louse he saw crawling upon the back of lady's dress, both of whom were in front of him as he sat in an audience. What he meant was that during the speaking, only the louse could remain completely objective in its judgement, while the people seated in the general gathering, had pre-determined or conceived notions about the subject and would, therefore, make their judgements based on them. The tale made me think that no one really sees oneself, no matter how hard we try. It's sort of the same as seeing a picture of ourselves and not quite believing we actually look like what we see in the photograph. I was once told by a photographer during a session, when one looks in a mirror, it is not their true and normal expression. He went on to describe most on looking into a mirror,  will raise their eyebrows slightly, make the mouth in a tiny shape that improves the face, stiffens their neck a bit, perhaps tilts the head appealingly or turns to the "best" side a little. He said he would prove it. He then directed me to close my eyes and let my whole face relax as though I were sound asleep. He said, keep it that way, be still and open just your eyes to see into the mirror. Aha! How right he was, my face was different and then I changed it automatically as I continued to gaze. You might like to try it yourself. When you do, and see yourself as "others see you" all relaxed,  your face will change as  mine did as you stay looking into the mirror. You will raise your eyebrows, pull your eye sides back a bit, lift your chin somewhat, bring the sides of your mouth  up and set back your ears. You will feel the changes. When we are going about life every day, we look not exactly how we look in our mirrors. Unless we are filmed, we simply do not and cannot know exactly how we appear to others. It follows that when we are sad or angry or tired or proud, our faces are something we can't see normally and when these emotions arise we aren't thinking about how we look. We are our normal selves. Actors and speakers must practice various expressions in a mirror to learn their best looks and rehearse them to make sure that they are showing the best of themselves in their roles but they are not necessarily their natural normal ones. To them, they must because their faces are their "fortunes". To us, we are what we are and that's all that matters.