Letting Go

Letting go is easier to say than to do. Letting go of anything is, in a way, lessening its value, but at the same time, means hanging on to the you that is you. You are important, the most important person in your life. You are worth the trouble of letting go everything else rather than sacrificing what you are. There are lots of ways of being forced to find your YOU again. It was easy enough to lose it.You married and became half of two. You may have found a relationship and lost yourself in it. You might have a profession that sucks the life out of you.  After years of deferring to someone or something else, how does one find the you that is you again when you are either forced out of it or have left it behind or it has simply worn out.  I've been there and it's hard. When you've been used to being half of someone else such as a lover, husband, friend, profession, you suddenly and painfully realize one day that you are only a half-body. When you end the relationship, you think, I have lost half of myself. I am one-legged. I can't function in my everyday life. I can't sleep, can't eat, don't care how I look or even if I see anyone or not. In a sense you die along with your past that was two, not the half you are now. So how do you bring it all back to being the two-legged, whole being, the one you once were but have forgotten? It is not easy. It's a long path and all up hill. It begins with the first step and after that the hard matter of taking a step up, one at a time. It's a long way up. At the beginning, you struggle and feel a bit of success and that encourages you to take the next lap. When that is done, you try for the next and slowly, with great difficulty, you succeed and are high enough to look back and see how far you have come. But don't. This is a kind of pergatory place where you will remain if you don't cut the ropes, break the chains, shut your eyes and keep going. A friend of mine, ended a relationship. He thought he would be okay to call once in awhile "just to be a friend". Foolishly, he is there yet, still feeling the pain, still unable to fully untangle himself from what he knows hurts him. And he is still unable to find himself as a result. Another woman who left her work forever, is a  fresh success and has found herself and taken on a whole new field, one in which allows her to be her true self. Both examples are choices but one, is the wiser.