Widow's Wisdom

 I know a wealth of widows who have endured bad post memorial dating experiences but who have failed to take a close look in the mirror to see why. Widowhood is an unusual endeavor. It requires wisdom. Besides all of the associated dealings with legal matters, new widows have personal issues in their aloneness. Most are still women under all that black crepe.  While there are some who enjoy their grief and want to wallow in it, Queen Victoria-like, for the rest of their lives, they can sink into their new life-styles and never come out.  Others grab the first man who sallies forth and latch on like Remoras. That can spell emotional disaster when she discovers that the guy is merely a grave-robber and not a keeper.  These sorts read the obits avidly. They consider their work to be a catch and release program. Find. Use. Escape. Then you have the soldiers of fortune who are the professionals preying on widows, especially ladies with a bit of cash. They research their victims. They want marriage sans contracts, the keys to the house, car and safety deposit box as well as the heart. And they know how to accomplish their goals. One of this despicable kind found unwell widows whose happiness with him was short-lived. All five or six, eventually died of natural causes. When scorned by funeral attendees, he satisfied himself by thinking that he had offered his wives generous recompense for his attentions. In short, he earned it.  The last time I saw him in action was while he was tickling up a new victim during a visit to the Alzheimer Home where the current wife was incarcerated.  Despicable, yes, but not illegal. So how does a widow fare? A very good question.