The Grave Robber

The grave robber, a name to replace "heel", is one I conjured up. The GR is usually a guy, who scans the obits daily to see what old pals to whose funerals or memorials he might go. Kindness is not his motive. To him, an obit is an open invitation.  How morbid, you charge. Not so. These men know what they are up to. And it isn't always men who are guilty as charged. Oh no. I know a woman desperate for cash, who did the same thing and managed to nab a lonely widower right after his wife's funeral. She was the old friend "just there to do tea and comfort". And comfort she found, living in a fine home with everything she always wanted. Security. But somehow the male grave robbers are the most despicable. Perhaps it's because their victims hardly ever end up with rings on their fingers and unfortunately not with bells on their toes. The sound of those bells would be their warning feet running away from these villains. The grave robber likes these funereal occasions not only for their offerings of cucumber sandwiches but also for his morbid motivations. To him, an obit reads: lonely widow of means ready to be taken in by kind words laced with his special brand of enticement. How does he do his job?  He holds the welcoming grieving widow's hand just a tice longer than propriety dictates and adds to the obligatory hug more than a mere friendly squeeze. The widow isn't that long from a warm bed and knows what's going on.  If the grave robber feels any kind of encouragement from her, however small, he'll be back next week. And when he does, look out.  His words are charming and this time, his kiss hello just happens to slip down to her neck. Oh sorry about that. Before you know it, the two are shopping together and he enjoys sleep overs regularly. She pleads to all those who warn her, but we are in love, and love conquers all. Wow. It surely does. Especially lonely widows and/or widowers. Well, not all. If you think this is fiction, ask around and you will find that this is so regular, obits should be moved to the want-ad page!