Yakkety Yak

You've heard the phrase "she/he talks too much". And yes, I have witnessed some of it myself over time. We had a dear lady on the job who, when we saw her coming, suddenly had something other to do. Most at work, greeted this woman with "Hi, just on my way to ...talk to you later." She was good-natured and carried on as though no insult had been dispensed. It had. I always wanted to take her aside and tell her that while she loved to visit, others had things to do and didn't have time to chat with her. They were on task, not being rude. I wasn't close enough to the lady to do this. A good friend would know how to broach the subject in a much gentler way, I thought. When she retired and died shortly after of the disease that caused her retirement,  we missed her friendly eagerness to talk to everyone and anyone. And perhaps it was fortunate that we had not hurt her feelings by quelling her habit. Not long ago, I was surprised when I was unusually cited for talking-too-much and it set me to thought. Try as I might, the designation of "talker" had not occurred to me previously and I found it interesting to be put on the other side. I am a story-teller type but hopefully I don't go on too long with my tales of this and that. Writers tend to be wordy out of habit. The more I thought about the matter of talking too much, the more I began to ask myself why other people think this a bad thing. Eureka! I had the answer. It is they who want to do the speaking and you take up their air space. Men are famous for saying such as "well, she is okay but she talks too much". Now, what does that mean? Does it mean that the guy wants to do the talking? Does it mean merely that he doesn't like or is not personally interested in what he hears? Does it mean that he has something to say but has no skills to get in there and do it? Women do talk more than men because testing has proven that women are better at language than males. But some of the world's most famous speeches are by men. If women are better at the spoken word, then why are they not the best speech-makers? Aha, you have the answer! Women are not permitted the "air time". Media announcers other than having to be young and beautiful for the most part, have lower pitched voices. It seems the human ear likes it that way. Women with female vocal chords are accused of being "shrill" while men of that nature are called "loud". Of course women are "shrill" - they are women and women have a higher range than males. Shrill likely means that it is the subject that riles and not the tone. Generally speaking, if I might speak, all is not lost ladies. The most famous sopranos capitalize on their female voice abilities. And who doesn't know Ella and her jazz. Talking too much is an accusation by those who don't listen enough. Next time, encourage your talk-too-much friend by asking questions on his/her subject. You might learn something. And your good manners will have improved on the spot.