Pesky Exes

What is it that causes some women to cling to their former relationships? They go under the guise of "just being friendly" but their true reasons seem much more suspect if you are the target. Their calls and e mails come when you are with your mate or sneaky  times when they hope you aren't there, which is worse. They cause a lot of discomfort and they jolly well know it. My hairdresser complained about her boyfriend being called by his ex in the middle of a private evening to plead with him to come take her home from a party at which she had over-indulged.  Being a kindly guy, he did, after informing his current girlfriend that he had to rescue this female from a bad situation. His present lover seethed.  "What could I do but help the poor girl?" wailed the guy when he returned. That is the part that mystifies me. There are taxis. I suppose Miss Incumbent should have gone along to pick up the ex, but that would be embarrassing and also witness that her boyfriend is not trusted. It all adds up to that fact that when a relationship is over, it's over. O-V-E-R  The "keeping in touch" or "just being friendly" is a tactic that is obviously  or subversively meant to put a rift into the new one. These women who persist in clinging "innocently" are not innocent. They know perfectly well that they shouldn't interfere. They know exactly what they are doing and the implications thereof. Mostly it is not fair to themselves. By continuously pestering their former boyfriends' or husbands' relationships, they are not moving on, no matter how inane their e mails and phone calls are meant. Like gnats, they buzz about making a nuisance of themselves . Asking them politely to stop, usually doesn't work. They love being pests and hope that their interference will cause problems in the new relationship. Unfortunately, men are not able to detect what is happening or perhaps don't want to, and wide-eyed, ask "What's the problem? It's all perfectly straight forward. It's just a ..." Well, it isn't, ladies, it's time the ex got a life and stopped the habit. Sometimes the ex whinnies that she is "just being friendly and what's wrong with that?" What's wrong with it, is about the same wrong as a mosquito constantly whining. It is annoying. Ignoring it, is likely the best tactic and also letting your mate know each time it occurs, that it bothers you. It will draw his attention to how you feel each and every time it happens. It is not nagging, it's expressing not only your rights but your needs.