Scent-sible

Fads seem to catch on and go viral. One of the recent ones is allergies. While some allergies are true afflictions that need medical attention, others are merely, I believe, ways of seeking to control their environment by something they simply don't like, therefore, it becomes their "allergy". And it gets them a lot of attention, however brief. The other day, a woman sidled up to me, one I have known for over a year, and kindly (I think) informed me that my body lotion made her allergic reaction flare up. She said, "Sorry, but that's why I don't go near you. But I LIKE you." I will let you surmise what you will about that piece of dialogue. First, why didn't she tell me immediately so that I did not use the lotion. We'd both have been a lot happier. The matter had been bandied about by all of her associates and mine, until she was sent to "bell the cat". Was I offended? Yes, but not because of the scent I no longer use. I was offended at the delay informing me. The scent in the lotion which was made by a company that is proud of its non-allergenic products, was made of fragrant herbs and likely some preservatives. It was interesting to me that the lady in question, eats a large amount of garlic and doesn't wear deodorant. She also has herbal scented candles all around her domicile. Recreationally, and legally, she imbibes occasionally with another kind of herb that she smokes. Taking all of this information into mind, I deduced that her "allergy" is likely to be psychosomatic rather than a physical aberration. I hear about allergies so much that I begin to wonder if they aren't control issues. At a barbecue recently, while wearing the same innocent body lotion that is not detectable unless you are breathing down my neck, a young woman made a huge fuss about having to faint because she stood by me at one brief point. She said nothing to me, but staggered off toward the wildly smoking barbecue where she vented her abhorrence of my scent to all there who were also breathing in the pungent smoke at the scene. Her hand was at her forehead making me think of languishing ladies of an earlier era, and there were clutches of concerned people glancing my way. Two of her large dogs whose odour offended me, were also in rapt sympathy at her feet. I would have minded but for the fact that she was also "allergic" to everyone else's pot luck dishes. She was a vegan, gluten glucose and lactose intolerant. She couldn't touch alcohol and all water had to come from a non-plastic bottle and not one made with aluminum. Did I miss anything? Her infamy spread and lasted for at least an hour until everyone tired of giving her any more of their fun time and drifted off to the food table with their beer, perfume and shaving lotion. I joined in. I had worked up an appetite.