Picking Dates

At my age, I might seem a little weathered on the matter of dating, but it does happen. Even at our ages. Dating isn't asking someone's hand in marriage. It's just a date. Women seem to have the matter down, but older men, apparently need some advice. I was told quite sincerely, by an elderly male, that it is the fear of rejection that holds them off. What? At our ages, why should we fear rejection? Most older women are thrilled to be asked on a date, even though they may say "no" for some reason. One of the problems with many men, is that they still feel their dear dead wife would be dishonoured if they date. That is called grieving and no one can tell anyone else how to do it. But the fact remains, that the wonderful wife who once was, is not there any more and never will be. And isn't it better to be next to a warm human body rather than a spirit? It doesn't mean that you are disrespecting someone's memory. You are simply stepping into your changed life. When your spouse dies, that's the end of one pathway and another one awaits. You are alive and still need all that living people need: companionship, respect, comfort and hope. Love is very large and can encompass all sorts of ways especially when you are older, and have all of that experience behind you. Love doesn't necessarily mean passion or performance. It's just there waiting for someone to come along and accept it. So on with the dating advice. Groom yourself immaculately. Women are fussy about cleanliness and fresh looking smiles. Your Mom was right: brush your teeth and comb your hair. Neatness counts. If you meet a nice lady, gentlemen, speak to her in a respectful way and ask her if she would like to go to lunch with you or to coffee. If she accepts, you pay, fellas. No matter how rich the lady is, you asked her on the date, therefore, you pay. Take your date to somewhere very nice, not the cheap joint where you can get a bowl of soup for a dollar. Open doors for her, hold her chair, do not sit in your car and watch her to go in or out, you are the escort. Escort!  Never honk the horn of your car when you arrive at her door and please never say " I will pick you up". You pick things up off the floor, not ladies. A lady considers it respectful for you to be mannerly, and she should reciprocate by thanking you. Do NOT leave your hat on when you enter a building or sit at a table. Ever. Women do not care if you have a ton of hair under your hat or not. Don't talk about your illnesses or your dead wife or politics or religion. When you get to know each other later on, those subjects might arise. Be lighthearted but stow the corny jokes and keep your language decent. Think of your table manners. At the end of the date, thank her and only tell her you will call her, if you actually will. No lines, no lies. Keep the intimate stuff until perhaps later, but even then, don't make a move without her explicit permission. The rest is easy. Be yourself, but don't be lonely. It isn't marriage. It's just a date.