Talking Stick

When I went to live and work in a place next to a Native North American community and had the pleasure of teaching mixed classes there, I learned to appreciate a culture, very old and wise and different. My former ideas changed. One of the very practical ones was The Talking Stick. In gatherings where there were discussions, negotiations or debates, the members had to remain silent and listen while only the holder of the Talking Stick could speak. Those gathered first agreed to using the Talking Stick rules. The stick was passed around, sometimes so that all holders had a turn to voice their point, and at other times, it was handed back and forth. The chief or moderator was on hand to make sure that no one spoke overlong, or broke the TS rule. Think how convenient this use of the Talking Stick could make meetings. With a family group around the table, all agreeing to use the method, there would be less interruption because everyone, adults and children alike,  would have a turn and knowing that, they might work to make their argument or opinion count. The idea isn't magic, but somehow if you are holding that Talking Stick, you feel the importance of the moment that is solely yours to say what's on your mind and know that others have to listen and not interrupt. It seems that those fortunate enough to work this democratic system, could avoid conflict knowing that they have rights and that they have to be respected, even if others do not agree. Others will have their turn to speak also, and the rule is, that no one must be denied the privilege of saying anything that matters to them, and others must hear them. It doesn't solve all problems, but what it does do, is to "clear the air" so that all sides can be heard. When this is understood, agreement becomes a matter of knowledge, in having to hear, perhaps things you don't necessarily want to hear, but ones that someone else needs to say, right or wrong in the opinion of anyone. Often times when there is debate, it is not being able to state your mind, that is the problem but once it is done, somehow things feel better because of it. Of course, there are certain individuals who refuse to use this method because they are not ready to share their ideas but consider that their ideas are the only way to proceed. This sort of person should realize that if you have the perfect idea, it needs to be tested just as the finest steel is. The only way to test it is to hear other points of view and reflect them against your own. Done this way, you may either want to adjust your own or be assured that yours are stronger than ever because you can also make your argument known. Everyone should come out at least knowing that a situation is aired. Wouldn't this, done in some way, make Question Day in parliament more sane than the present hoopla that we have to suffer through at that time. No one listens, the speakers thus shout and others interrupt or hoot. It's a shameful mess no matter how cute and traditional some think it is. The Talking Stick makes sense.