THE Line

 Everyone has a line. It's the invisible one that no one should cross. But it's hard for some people to determine it. My line is privacy, and I am fiercely protective about it. If someone crosses it foolishly and I say that because most people tell me, as soon as they look at me, they know it. I am not about to inflict punishment when someone crosses it. Everyone deserves a bit of a chance, but I will likely and hopefully, disappear forever from their sight. And they from mine. There are many people who don't have a solid line, but one that you may step over accidentally, and soon realize you have, and then you may step back and everyone is okay again. Not my line, but maybe yours. Others have a line that wavers or comes and goes or isn't there at all. The latter are what we might call "door mats". They are often bullied and turned into service beings who do whatever the stronger person wants of them. This is difficult for me to comprehend. Recently, someone stepped over my line, and that hasn't happened in a very long time. When I say no, that is exactly what I mean, and no amount of cajoling is going to change it. Well, unless pure logic or deep emotion or a great alibi from the stepper, changes things. In this case, the stepper was pre-warned with one no, but persisted and finally demanded. Not a good idea. Again, I have to say, no violence or harsh words ensued because I try to have better manners than to resort to that kind of nonsense. The individual who trod badly, possibly had an ego equal to mine in some ways, and simply forgot that not everyone sports large ones that are as delicate as ours. Probably as you, I reside behind somewhat of a mask that could be called good manners or perhaps bad ones, but there it is. Most people aren't going to turn themselves inside out at the drop of an order such as the one I received and thus become a wimp. The offender not only continued the demand, but added a thinly veiled insult to the mix. Well, that's stepping waaay over the line. A series of emails flew back and forth but none of them carried weight. The deed was done. The upshot of this tale is that the line stepper is banished from my list of people I want to see again in my presence, not that it won't happen accidentally. If and when this might occur, there will be no sour looks or cold silences, but there will be politeness and tersity, if such a word exists, and the little red line tells me it doesn't, but I like it, therefore it will remain. One can retaliate most efficiently with tersity and tact supported by very short appearances that will be terminated quickly. The lovely phrase "excuse me" may be employed effectively if called for. There is no need to say why one wants to be excused, and certainly that would be ridiculous since the stepper doesn't credit one, history tells. The over-stepper may go public with their side of the issue, but the best advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. In fact, there is a convenient other phrase that goes, "just step over it". But never let that be THE Line.