Dying To See You

 Death isn't a popular subject, but when there is an article about it by someone doing it, the subject is entered widely. Why is it, we read about death with a combination of curiosity and fear? Why is it that when someone is dying, we are very interested but can't seem to get past, the fear we have of facing what lies before every single human being who ever lived? No. I don't have the answers because I'm one of the people who do this very thing. Death is the Great Mystery because there is no one who can truthfully be an expert on what it's like to actually, not just temporarily die, but be "on the other side", "passed away", "with my Maker" or in any way other than heresay, having come back to tell us what it's all about. That's why it's the major, number one, mystery. One that is likely never to be answered. And I'm no expert. What I can say, is that I have seen death happen: soon before and after, watched the after effects in those left behind, and experienced many of  them personally. I have worked as a volunteer at a hospice after taking the required courses, but none of the preparation truly prepares an individual to face the actual experience with perfect knowledge or any aplomb. Death is a certainly for us all, but we fear it and that is perfectly natural and understandable. No one can feel complete joy anticipating "solving" the mystery. What bothers me, is that when the announcement is made to a person, that life is ending with no hope of a fix, they are suddenly alone. They become an immediate outcast. One asks, how can they be feeling alone when every single human they meet or not, is going to die themselves in time? Another mystery. My own life is almost at the end of its journey and I think about it sometimes and then quickly push it away into the back of my mind. And that feels okay to me. What bothers me is talking to those who learn that their life is ending and are finding themselves, suddenly alone. "Where did all my friends, my fellow workers, my relatives go?", they say. It's as though, they are a kind of leper of life. They get little cards and notes and sometimes short phone calls but what happened to their closest and dearest and friendliest, sitting across from them with a mug or glass or cuppam and just gabbing? Where's the joshing and bits of gossip and the laughter that accompanies? Where are the light touches and faces and memories? Fear of death is one thing, but fear of the fear of death is worse. We fear tears while tears are natural and when we cry while with our dying fellows, we then laugh and that's a heap of relief. Relief? Yes, indeed. It's because we have shared a moment that is purely and absolutely, human. We come out through the tears with our dying folk and know that we are human, together. Surely, we can do this, and not ignore our dying people, or fear them because, as one individual said when he would not see his wife at her dying and death, "it's too hard on me, I can't do it". Sure you can, and please do do it. You will experience this, the finest moment of both yours and their life. You'll feel something as valuable as gold and more precious than breath.