Life's Giant Step

 My ninety year old grandmother, a woman who bore seven children in her time, was someone who  remembered hearing of Queen Victoria's death from people passing in their horse drawn sleigh on a snowy Ontario winter day. She experienced a few more kings and queens over the next decades, but one day when she was ninety-one, she fell on the sidewalk while shopping near her home, She owned a condo in a small West Coast city where she and her husband once owned property previously. Their children went to school and later, into jobs and businesses, rearing their own families. But now, a widow twice, she was living independently, in a condo in the same city. She was aging, but contented, and in relatively good health.  Low blood pressure had caused her sudden fainting spell and fall. She  had reached the Giant Step in life. Big changes were about to occur. She and the family decided that it was Time. At some point in life's stages, Time or The Giant Step happens.Aging isn't a number, it's a physiological condition. It can be of the aging body or the mind or both. But one's life after that Step, is no longer the same. And while there are empathetic people around, they are not able to feel exactly what that means. For everyone who arrives at it, it's different. First, there is disbelief. This can't be, one thinks, surely I am not that old, but soon, one realizes "wow, it's my turn". The realization is that decisions to do with you personally, are no longer your own entirely, and that after much family palaver that usually happens when you're not around "for your own peace of mind", decisions are made for you. They are big ones, but they are for your betterment or care or happiness or convenience or whatever words fall from the very long list. You realize that, yes, it is the Giant Step and here I am doing something I thought would never happen to me. It's Time. My grandmother who lived until one hundred, two, had been through her two marriages, dealing with family rearing and latterly, caring for her older husbands until their deaths. She saw the sad endings of some of her own children and grandchildren.  She was much valued by her family and she alike, valued them. Even though entering a "home" must have been a difficult Giant Step, she did not complain. She couldn't complain. It was Time. She learned in her long lifetime that complaining gets you nowhere. Doing, does go places, when you're old it doesn't count. Our society worships youth.  You are human but no longer make decisions that are major. Young takes over. Grandmother learned that backing away from being a fully independent woman was a downhill process but, gracefully, she bent more and more, with consultation, to the wishes of others rather than her own. It simply made sense. It must have been hard since she was well known for being a strong woman who had survived a number of life's trials. I wish I had known this woman more, and learned her wisdoms, but it's too late now, and it's almost my turn. The Giant Step is nearing.