There isn't much good about being a perfect "people person" over just being a person. I know a woman who prides herself, even as an elder, in having been a "people person". But, she says, that is not solely it now. She learned the hard way. Everyone saw her as adorable because she knew all the right words to say, how to be pretty and fashionable, be the best entertainer, have a home that was perfect being the best wife and mother. She was ever cheery and light-hearted in any social situation. In short, a "Barbie". People told her, "you're a doll". Socially, she was sought out. She did not do well at school but in its place enjoyed popularity and lots of dates. Who doesn't enjoy basking in the warmth of such a person? But what we see isn't always what we thought. As a pretty child, she was taught to entertain adults, to be noticed as sweet and giving at all time. She was rewarded by her parents who encouraged her in competitive appearance events: dancing and fashion. If she didn't win, they made up their own trophies. The message was always, do what we tell you to do because you have to perform as the special girl who smiles all the time if you want to be loved and accepted. She married the school hero and made his work successful by further performances as the business entertainer and trophy wife. The end result was mental illness and a family break-up. You may have guessed already, she was an abuse victim at home. Kids who are given the message that one must be nice and giving all the time, a "people person", learn that love begins with knowing oneself first. We can be ourselves, make mistakes along the way and forgive ourselves as we try to make things right. Parents know that a healthy child is not a performer or one who needs to be trained as a "people person". They can be that, but also more: to love the good in oneself and see it in others to make ourselves complete and happy people.
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