Finders Keepers

Other than abusiveness and unfaithfulness that are simply not acceptable, most men are worth keeping. Some are more perfect than others. There is much to weigh when dropping a guy. Finding that balance is the key. Questions to ask are: what would I do without him, are his faults worse than my being alone, is there some way I can tolerate the faults and still feel happy? Sometimes being alone is the best choice. Phone calls don't count - they are too easy and usually end up with you calling him instead of the other way around. Men love women calling them. It's a power trip. "See what I made her do?" kind of thing. Being alone is good if your support system works but we all know that pals just aren't the same. They go home after the bucket of ice-cream and the bottle of wine. Work? Sure that's nice but it doesn't cuddle after hours. Knitting? Nope. Too much time between knit and purl to think about the good old days. What does work when you are trying to drop him permanently? No calls, no e mails, no contact. That works and the pain, though intense, is relatively short term. Personally, I like writing. You can purge if you have a blog but it's public and takes courage to fend off the pests or perhaps you might start a file you can lock to keep your innermost thoughts pouring out freely. Holding them in, is poisonous. Going out and about? Yes, but hard on the shoe leather. My new high heeled patent boots need tips already.  Don't expect a queue of suitors lined up around the block. You'll find a new guy, but it is an accidental phenomenon perhaps occurring  at the deli counter, the local coffee den or in the bar code line at the library.  There is always another lonely soul out there waiting to be found. Take heart.