Take The Fall

Falling in love isn't always a two-way thing. It can be a solitary occupation and as a result be quite appealing in that it is what you want it to be.  It began in Grade One when I saw Clark for the first time. He was short even for a First Grader but there was something about his tow-headed cowlick and his freckled smile that melted my heart. The fact that I was a skinny, mousy kid with straight short hair and Clark's heart throb was a blonde braided, chubby, immaculately neat child, rankled me to no end. Edith's fat braids and her crayons, the better ones, my practical mother wouldn't buy for me, added to the misery. Edith lent Clark her crayons. He didn't take a second look at mine. Also, the fact that Clark and Edith lived only a few houses apart while my house was up on the hill, added to my despair. One day, driven to desperation, I couldn't help but pencil a note to Edith. It read, in the most perfect Grade Two printing, two spaces high, "I hat you". Just before recess when there was no one in the classroom, I dropped it on her desk. But during recess, I suddenly realized, having studied only that morning, the long vowel when there is an e at the end of a word, I had written "hate" incorrectly. I was so embarrassed, it made love flee from my mind. The only consolation was that I had not signed my name to the flawed document.  From that day on, I kept my amours to myself realizing that love, even the fantasy kind, can be a dangerous thing. Moving from the school only months later, left me relieved - I need not feel guilty every time I laid eyes on the beautiful Edith. At my new school, however, it wasn't long before I spotted Teddy and another secret love ensued.  Teddy was tall and dark but an after school spin-the-bottle meet when Teddy spun, and the bottle pointed at me, had me jumping up and running all the way home. I was not ready to take the fall.  The realities of real love were too much for me.