THE

The other day, I was called The Widow by a clod who had the sensitivity of a rock. Who wants to be a "The"? Maybe it's okay for dogs and cats, but we humans are individuals and seldom want to be named for what we are and not who we are. I guess doctors don't mind being called The Doctor or royalty, The King or Queen, due to those much honoured stations. In my case, it was an overheard remark meant to be demeaning in the back ground during a cell phone call."Ha ha, it's The Widow." But after thinking seriously about the matter, I found it even more disturbing due to the fact that my widowhood was not my choice and had been something I worked at diligently for two years to get over. I assumed that I had the widowhood designation behind me. Apparently some others didn't.  How long does it take for death's shadow to follow one around? Does the world continue to see some women as The Divorcee or The Spinster? It seems to fit into a discrimination category where all persons of one culture become one appellation such as The Martian. I suspect that even amongst Martians, there are different shades of green and luminosity of eyes. And while a Martian might be proud to be one and revere its planet's colour and fame, a widow is put into her position through no fault of her own and it's one she hopes to conquer. Helen or Julie or Alice and all other women once widows are unique women. They are home makers or business folk or artists or service people and they, like everyone else, have names! Please, in the name of courtesy, use them.