Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Walk The Talk

"She talks too much" I hear this comment frequently but the men who say it, don't hear themselves "talk". Some speak non-stop about their accomplishments, real or imagined, or sport scores and teams that they enjoy vicariously but they have trouble knowing how to communicate with ladies. Some are flatterers who think that women want to hear that sort of thing. Women will tolerate it for awhile but that game is temporary. What most women want is someone who talks about feelings and/or experiences other than things that involve balls being kicked, thrown, rolled around or hit. There is more to life. Life is about feelings and experiences that connect one human being to another. When a man says "come help me choose a shirt that you think is right" or "let's bake and cook together": now you have communication and participation! That's an invitation to romance. Sure you can go to games and enjoy them together and perhaps afterward talk about it briefly while gazing over a candle at the bistro. That satisfies both the guy and the gal. It's all about sharing life and talking about what you have shared. The "strong, silent" man is hiding behind his inability to communicate. He needs help to stop fearing that he can't speak coherently enough to feel successful with you. If your efforts to bring him out of his word prison fail, move on. A relationship isn't about curing someone and furthermore, lack of interaction verbally doesn't make the future of a relationship look very bright. When the hearts begin a regular cadence and the flowers fade, reality enters and you may need something more to cling to than "strong and silent". Questions such as "how do you feel about that"  or "I'd love to hear your opinion on" may work. When he does speak, listen.

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