Just Too Too

Everyone likes nice people and everyone wants to be nice. But there are some who are just too too nice to bear. You know what I mean. We had one  at work who was so nice we wanted to run when she approached.  She was like sticky toffee. She would ooze up and coo compliments on you about everything and anything. She'd force on you her gooey home-made-just-for-you cookies and send you memos with  i's dotted in little hearts. She'd put smiley faces on  documents and teddy bears on the staff room table. The huggings instead of good mornings were the last straw. We were tired of sneaking our coffee down to the furnace room to escape Ms Niceness. It wasn't the sort of thing you could readily report to the boss. "Mr. Boss, we don't like the niceness that's going on around here." It was a complaint hard to put into words. One of the staff elders, a very nice lady, volunteered to do the job. When she returned to the furnace room to report her success, she hung her head and told us she hadn't been able to do it. Ms Niceness had offered to adopt the kitten her cat had just birthed.  It was like belling the cat! Our last desperate attempt was to be accomplished during a staff meeting. The union head, a rather gruff but loveable guy, would bring up the topic at the end of the next staff meeting. He had the gift of saying the right thing at the right time. At the  meeting's end, he cleared his throat and began to rise to do the  deed.  But just at that moment, the boss, grinning from ear to ear, stood up. "Ladies and gentlemen, I want to announce that I am being married and transferred next week to head office. My fiance ..." and he gestured to Ms Niceness herself who waggled the diamond on her left hand.  The sound of our loud cheering must have been heard right down to the furnace room itself.