Ownership

We are one person. Who we are is just us and no one is exactly the same as we are. Even Siamese twins think differently. It is a matter of ownership. We own ourselves and that includes a lot of private stuff such as what we like and don't, who we love and don't and what we plan to do. Even small babies have minds of their own and while we as parents attempt to mold those little minds, eventually, they put what they see and learn and what they are told to learn come together and become what they think and do and are. They have ownership of themselves. And that is precious. Along with the good, they also own the bad and have to deal with that. There is good advice available and bad influences and professional assistance but in the end, it is left to our personal choices. Age and stage are no exception. Some take their problem and try hard to deal with it. Others fling blame about. I hear it. "The reason this happened is because you ..." or "if you didn't do ... this wouldn't have happened" or the famous, "if there was a God, He wouldn't have let this happen". Of course none of that is true. Life happens and it isn't always perfect. In fact, it seldom is. Around me, I see people who have horrendous problems, their personal hills to climb and conquer, and it doesn't always work out the way they wish. Like Sisyphus you have to start rolling that rock back up the hill. Not an easy task. And standing around watching some of these struggles that another person is going through, is hard, too. You consider solutions for them and thrash away thinking about reasons why it happened and you want to help  make it better to end the bad bits, but the situation does not belong to you. You alone cannot solve it.  What can you do? You can stand by and become a pillar, a backstop, a place of refuge for the one who is suffering. You can listen and understand, but you cannot "do". Ownership of ourselves while precious is not always an easy possession.