Striking Oil: Gushers

A gusher isn't just the black stuff ejected from the bowels of the earth, it can also be a person. Gusher persons are those whose motives are to pour their oils of flattery over another individual while hoping the flattery and attention will pour back. A day with a gusher is like a day on a tread mill. Over and over, you have to endure the hugging and constant flattery you witness as the gusher envelopes its victims in an embrace. They approach with open arms and those within range, can find nowhere to hide. A fit of coughing or turning suddenly to sneeze sometimes works to fend off the cooing attacker. But if you are unprepared you have to endure the kind of contact that I find trite, silly and offensive. I do not want someone to invade my personal space and muss me up with hugging. A nice shake of the hand or a smile is perfectly adequate to indicate friendship. There is no need to press a body against mine unless I invite  that kind of contact. Worse however is to watch a gusher after the hug. The complimenting phase comes next. "Oh you are so nice, so smart, so thoughtful, so cute, so kind..." Every sentence is fraught with superlatives. There is none of the mediocre here. Then come the corny jokes that begin with "I'll bet you..." with attendant broad grins showing off the latest in shiny dental craft and a tilting of the head with a slight baby-talk tone. Well, you know what I mean if you have been involved with a gusher.  When the gusher runs out of oil, words in fact, the pats and rubs begin. they coo and ooh and ahh while rubbing the middle of your back or the side of your arm. Your skin crawls but it is hard to disengage from the tepid "soup" of the gusher's aura. You might try my favorite, and dig out your phone while indicating with a nod of the head toward the corner that you are taking a call that is necessary. It's as hard to turn off a people-gusher as it is to stop an oil well but once you have identified the offending gusher, bleeping him or her off your call list and e mail might help. But you know how oil is: hard to mop up.