Old Friends

No one escapes old age. While we think that will never happen, one day you'll wake up and say Eureka! I am old. It's not that you will run out screaming the fact into the street or shout it from the highest mountain. No. You'll likely quietly arise after the discovery and have your morning coffee or tea and carry on as usual. But what does occur after the self-realization, is that you will  become somewhat more aware of all the precious things that may not be there for you in the approaching future. You may see your family and friends in a different way. You will look upon them as treasures and call them or invite them over or take up visiting them more frequently while you can still manage the traffic. How  you present yourself may become an issue or the way you do your regular routines that may need adjusting.  All regard their aging in different ways. Some leap into it with gusto and determine to make every day count. Others may sink into depression over the natural process. Yet others will decide to fight it off even though they know it's a losing battle in many ways. Some have simply entered into the fray and have  already taken on the patina. They dress accordingly: make changes to their activities, wear clumpy comfy shoes, disregard  any kind of appearance enhancement such as make-up or hair styling, dress in gear that bespeaks old age and generally march into the whole thing with grim resignation. Others decided to fight against it, ignoring all aspects of aging and do just the opposite. They may take up social mixing, aqua flapping, yoga, quilt stitching or knitting. Some love dancing and find a place that still has bands or hoedowns and whirl gently about the dance floor with like partners.  Others may simply enjoy quiet times with their computers, art easels, work shops or sewing machines. It's a choice. But let's hope no one moans and groans to all and sundry about their miseries, their aches and pains, operations or illnesses to the point of seeing people dart away when you approach. Listening to a repeated account of every detail these unfortunates relate over and over can become excruciating unless it is a mutual exchange. And lots of elders do love to go on about their discomforts whatever they may be. I suppose it's all part of the healing process to share the complaints with someone else. I enjoy the people who talk about what they are doing not necessarily about what they did. My mother-in-law insisted that one "of an age" should not speak of the past. She was an active person who volunteered faithfully and got up games evenings that everyone invited to, groaned about beforehand, but who thoroughly enjoyed the fun of simply being silly over cards or little objects on a game board. Some bury themselves in groups where they intellectualize or debate over books they have read or travels they have done or work they have experienced.  And there are the folks who prefer a solitary existence to read or write about what they have lived or wished to. They do their family histories, journals, novels and letters. They enjy contemplating all sorts of issues and events and deal with them privately in their writings. All of what one choses to do in the end is valid. It's all "finishing touches". Being retired and aging with time that is all yours to plan, the mix is perfect. You may spend as much time on your chosen projects as you wish or even if there are no projects, the time is yours to use as you please.  It's time to give up the regrets and savour your times. While old friends and relatives may gradually disappear one by one,  you are there, to take  joy in the memories you have of them. If you can't  go visit your living pals, you still have e mail and telephones. However you choose to do it, even though perhaps not perfect, it's yours and you can do with it as you please.