Two On One

Sometimes a guy doesn't know what to do when there are two women he fancies. One chap, none too brilliant, decided that the best solution was to play both of them at once to give him time to make up his mind.  It's  a bit like trying to burn both ends of a candle. Eventually, someone is going to be burned and most of the time, it's the one holding it. Since it happened many years ago, I can tell the story about the young man who simply couldn't decide which of his two girlfriends would make the best wife.  He liked them both for each had unique qualities he found attractive and that balanced to give them equal weight in his opinion.  The ladies in question lived a distance apart and he felt that it would be safe in playing them both until he could decide which one he would ask to marry him. What he found out was that the job of courting two was not only time consuming, but there was also a lot of energy put into trying to keep each from learning about the other. As in most relationships, sharing does not work, therefore, he couldn't expect them to understand his dilemma. That would make "understanding" stretch just a little too far. He didn't want them to find out about his game because he knew he'd be left alone and dangling if they learned about what he was doing. But this fellow opted to try it at any rate. What he didn't know, was that one of the women was onto his game and had determined to teach him a lesson. Doing her research, she found out the bachelor's fondest activities, his favorite foods and how he liked his women to be. Let's call her Smartee. Smartee did her homework. She did her level best to be better in  every way than her rival, and thus capture the guy - not that she wanted to keep him. She knew that disloyal men are born and never truly change. Marriage to that sort was out. She spent money on her appearance since that's what most men list as their number one requirement. She pretended to adore all of his activities and accompany him showing her support in a big way. She cooked his favorite foods and dressed in what he liked to see. She forgave him if he were late or uncouth or thoughtless. It was work. In the meantime, her floundering rival was slowly fading into the background. Then the day came when she knew the proposal was going to happen. He had sent roses and made a date for a dinner at an expensive restaurant. It was imminent. She felt now would be the  time to drop the bomb and teach him the lesson he would never forget. They arrived and were given the best table and the gentleman ordered the finest menu items. Over dessert, he reached across and took her hand and said, " I have to admit that I have decided to marry somone else. This is good-bye." Smartee, after paying all the bills she had incurred and feeling somewhat deflated, learned much later that the man's reasons for choosing the other girl, were that her brothers were hunters in a big way and it being his first love, he chose the woman's family oveer her lack of feminine virtues. Smartee was the one who learned the biggest lesson. But as it turned out, years later, she was correct. The hunter's marriage failed.  Once a two-timer, always a two-timer. And in the end, "hunting" would become yet another of life's little ironies.