Jealous Green Eyes

Jealousy has many meanings depending on how the word is used. I am concerned, here, about the individual who likes to think that a partner is jealous when he/she glances admiringly at someone else, in this case, a server at an eating/drinking establishment and makes a remark about it. It is  common, and often a characteristic, for some to ogle attractive others. And while it may be natural to gaze upon a stranger one sees as attractive, it is impolite to make a show of it especially while on a date with someone. Most  daters try to control their eyes and certainly their comments, but there are some unwise sorts who simply, cannot control their mouths. Apparently, they have no trouble with their eyes! Those who find that they do not have a leash on the leering while with a companion, could, one hopes, defer from, at least, the come-on comments. It is maddening to sit with a date who insists upon making sleezy remarks to a server, remarks they think are flattering. They feel it enhances their sex appeal to do so. "Oh, look at me flirting; I am such a hotty!"  Oh no! It is bad enough for the datee to be forced to listen to such drivel, it must make the server feel that he or she would like to empty a trayful on the ignorant skull that spews this sort of nonsense. And for the rude flirtator, to accuse his/her date of being jealous over it, is just not fair. Or intelligent. It's passing the buck, in fact. What's happening is that the date is jealous, but not of the victim. They are jealous of their right as an invited date, to be the sole person focussed on and certainly not having to share their time with  those who must serve the food and drink at the table. Servers are simply trying to be polite, doing their jobs and should not be regarded as part of the entertainment. One has no business considering it okay to insult servers in this manner. They are not anything but working at their hard and heavy jobs while being very polite to those being served.  Customers should not assume they have any right to give out flirtatious remarks like some elderly candy men who haunt the malls getting their jollies in the same way.  Tips notwithstanding. They don't appreciate being taken for granted as though they are unfeeling automatons open to any kind of remark coming from the paying customers. The money we pay, is for the product, not the server. Most servers have home responsibilities and reasons for doing their difficult jobs.  It is tiring for eight or more hours, to carry heavy trays and plates, to remember who wants what and how at each table, and to deal with the pressures of restaurant or bar service behind the scenes without having to put up with smart-mouthed customers.  No matter how attractive the server is, or how much they appreciate, even need, your fair tips, they do not need to be insulted with remarks that are offensive to their private selves. And for someone to turn on dating partners and accuse them of being jealous when they hear this sort of negative comment, is just plain thoughtless. They are being humane, not being jealous.   Compliments should be for the service. And only the service. Let's couth up!