What Women Really Want

Yesterday had an interesting twist. I spoke to a man who told me what women want. Later, I heard a woman tell me what she really wanted. I was conflicted somewhat by what I listened to. The man complained that he had a bad marriage that ended in anger and all he wanted was a woman who didn't want a commitment from him. The woman, a widow, admitted that her life was lonely after an uncomfortable marriage but that she didn't want a husband because she would never trust another man. Both people had relationships but neither wanted to make a permanent arrangement of them. They just wanted to "date".  It was clear that each had suffered bad experiences in making binding commitments and were afraid to make them again because of it. But what did each really want? Clearly, each wanted a commitment but did not trust a partner to give it. It's natural to want a mate. We all want to find that perfect match, the one that makes a trusting bond that lasts until the day we die. Unfortunately, it happens seldom. I had one of those "seldom" found relationships that unfortunately ended in a death. Frankly, I am loathe to make another commitment because I know how difficult it is to find another person who can or will make such a thing happen. The older you are, the harder it is to find someone unscarred. I am in the same boat as the man and woman I spoke with even though my oar may be another colour. We were made to share our lives with a mate admissibly but many people who want this kind of connection with another, simply have not been able to find that special person with whom they can share a trust. And then there are certain individuals who physiologically and/or psychologically are unable to commit to one other person exclusively. The varieties of human beings and their personal needs is vast. Trying to locate someone with whom to share your concept of life is no mean task. Much of the time, in youth, it happens and works out, but likely accidentally. Youth is a formative period in human development and if someone young mates up with another, it stands a good chance of working. Marriage is not a static matter, it develops and changes as time goes on. Those who marry or commit young, have a chance to adjust to the condition of marriage and in doing so, may make together, a true and lasting arrangement. It doesn't just happen. Like curing clay, commitments harden and crack and sometimes, or often as these times, break apart while others self-mend and stay together. Elements such a outside forces come along and they change the stability of a union. It has to be strong and able to mend the cracks and hits to survive. What do men want? They want exactly what women want and that is a comfortable life with a person who is flexible and willing to work to keep the relationship going. Trust is key. When that breaks, the scars remain even though a repair has taken place. The first thing that will crack it apart is the weakness caused in the once cracked place and that's the hard part: getting past it. All told, a good union can be, with work, the best kind, even stronger than one that has never been tested.