See How Smart I Am

If you go to a party, you're there to have fun. That means rather light, idle chat and funny stories by others about "what happened on the way to" and "did you hear" sorts of conversations. The worst thing is to be stuck with a fellow fete attendee who persists in expounding on his or her topic at great length and with sentences sans periods. This sort is usually someone who has little more going for him or her, other than second hand intelligence gleaned from the works of other more informed folk, mainly writers of elusive and relatively remote subjects. These can be anywhere from best-natural-diets-for-pet-guppies to use-of-a-nine-iron-in-a-sand-trap.  These bores apparently according to their own reports, read a lot and do so mostly to astound other people hoping the result will make them appear hugly bright and informed. Unfortunately, their audiences seldom find them nice to be near. And it has nothing to do with their brand of soap. While in some circumstances I find this kind of individual entertaining, I do not want to be with them for very long. They exhaust me and make me want to do anything other than listen to their self-purported knowledge gleaned from the pages of another bore on that particular topic. You can see them coming. Here you are leaning on the wall, cocktail or water bottle in hand, hoping for someone interesting and attractive to come by and the pedant perp approaches seeing that you are temporarily idle. His or her head is often bent curiously a bit to one side and the eyebrow, elevated to the wisdom-is-approaching height. When said orator is close enough, it begins with a leading question much like the car dealer who comes on when you are merely browsing. You look to find an escape route. Alas, it's too late. "Hello there. I saw you from across the room and you looked an intelligent sort. How do you do? I say, I am itching to pose a question to see if you can enlighten me further on a subject", it says. Your heart sinks, unless it is about the sex life of the fruit fly or the subject of your former long-forgotten thesis, you know you will be stuck at the wall for some time unable easily to  make your escape. While you can do so at the local pub, being openly rude at the home of your party host is simply not done. For all you know, it could be a brother-in-law of someone important or the sister of your aunt, the one who is not your mother. Caution must be heeded. There are escapes but only to be used ten minutes after the onset of the clouds of knowledge emitted from the smart person in front of you. A fit of the dry cough works or perhaps the pretense of a vibratory ring from your cell phone at which point you dig in your pocket and pull it out, smiling an I-really-have-to-take-this-my-grandfather-just-took-a-turn-for-the-worse look. The fact that your grandfather took that turn years ago and didn't make it, is immaterial. The dry cough is likely the better move. But move you should. And quickly - preferably into the next room.