Silence Is Gilt

The saying "silence is golden" is untrue. Getting out there what you mean, is truth and that's what you need to know. Having escaped from a situation during which I thought silence was golden, I realize that silence is dangerous. For years, I held on to my concept of a scenario because I thought that bringing doubts out to bear might jeopardize my position. I held on thinking that it was the safest way to go about matters. And even when, more and more, it became clear that something was not fitting my idea of the thing, I clung to the belief that if I simply didn't speak my mind, all would work itself out. It took a long time and much angst to come to the unhappy conclusion that where I was, was where I shouldn't be. I was being consumed by an illusion. Finally, I ended the association and took  time to develop distance from it so that I could assess what it all was and what had been going on for many years. Why did it take that long? How many of us do this and how many wait until it is too late to make the changes that are self-benefitting? First, we have to take care of ourselves before we can be whole. Second, human nature fears change. Once we become involved with something that shows promise, we cling to it thinking, "oh well, things will get better, therefore, I will hang on". What we forget, is that the clock doesn't stop ticking while we wait patiently for something that is not going to happen. In my case, it was a relatively minor event to rid myself of, but for some, the rift is cataclysmic and the ending of what is already bad, becomes tragic. Silence is not golden. The way we have to approach all doubtful associations, is to speak out and to speak truth. Demand it of yourself and of others. Constantly sweeping doubts and concerns under a carpet and expecting they will disappear is fruitless. They simply build up. Fear is the enemy, fear of speaking out because it could destroy the bond, needs to be discarded. Fearing to speak ends only with your holding of what you believe to be the right interpretation, without considering what someone else has in mind is bad business all 'round. It is so comfortable to make excuses for another and convert the truth with your colouring of it, rather than face truth, what might clash with your ideas of it. It's called self-disillusionment. You kid yourself because it feels so much better. So, okay, say you are brave enough to speak your mind and it blows up in your face. Or not. But if it does turn out badly, you have learned something, a harsh lesson, but one that could save you a lot of time that you can spend on other developments instead of wasting time on the unhappy mess you just left. Instead of grieving, you should be celebrating! Starting all over again, isn't all that bad. Give yourself a space to consider what you've learned and promise yourself, you will, from that moment on, forget silence and ask the questions that shouldn't be kept on that proverbial back burner. Better to find pure gold than scrape later on to see that the glow is mere dross.